Thinkingaboutme.org
9 years of Parasha articles.
A Lag B’Omer Lesson
A Lag B’Omer Lesson Parashat Emor I got a call the other day from New York. It was from a girl who was dating, who was confused. “I want to marry a boy that is learning. The boy I am dating wants to learn in Kollel for a few years. But I do not want…
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THE MITZVAH OF TACT
THE MITZVAH OF TACT Parashat Kedoshim Subtle or seemingly minor grammatical changes can give a completely new meaning to words. The laws of dikduk of the Hebrew language are extremely important, and unfortunately, most people who know Hebrew neither learn them nor know them. A common mistake people make about Lashon Hakodesh is believing that…
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YOUR BIGGEST LIE
YOUR BIGGEST LIE Purim There is a mysterious personality in the Purim Story. Hatach. A.k.a. Daniel, the Prophet. He was sent back and forth from Esther to Mordechai, to relay messages. Suddenly, Hatach disappears. Where did he go? According to the Midrash, Haman saw Hatach going back and forth, and he suspected that something fishy…
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LAUGHOTHERAPY
LAUGHOTHERAPY Hodesh Adar Humor is such a powerful tool. It can be used to do the worst things possible, like making a good, kosher, modest woman into a Sotah. (Sotah 7a) And it can do the best possible thing, like getting people interested in learning Torah. (Shabbat 30b) The Baal HaTanya (Chapter 7) writes how…
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WHEN MINORITY WINS
WHEN MINORITY WINS Parashat Mishpatim The Grammar laws of the Hebrew Language are so important. אחרי רבים להטות (23:2) Does not mean Follow the majority. Rather it means “Incline toward the majority.” What is the difference? Why does the Torah use the word incline and not הרוב קובע, the majority wins? Because the majority does not always…
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WHY NOT LIE? Parashat Yitro In his book The (Honest) Truth About Dishonesty, Dan Ariely, professor of psychology and behavioral economics at Duke University, scientifically tested in great detail how and why humans lie, and what makes it easier or harder for them to keep to the truth. His research was done on college students.…
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ELEPHANT IN THE LIVING ROOM
ELEPHANT IN THE LIVING ROOM Parashat Beshalach Rabbi Meir the Great, of Premishlan (1703–1773), disciple of the Baal Shem Tov has a great Hassidic twist on the words we say every day in אז ישיר. זה א-לי ואנוהו אלקי אבי וארממנהו. This is my G-d and I will glorify Him, the G-d of my father and I will…
Read MoreTHE THREE DRIVES OF MAN
THE THREE DRIVES OF MAN Parashat Bo Over the last few years, psychology has discovered and revealed what the Torah has been teaching about human behavior for thousands of years. First, psychology taught that material desires were the main motivation for a person’s actions. Later, an equally powerful drive, that of the ego, was recognized. …
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BEHIND THE BLUEPRINTS Parashat Vaera The wisest of men said, in Kohelet, (קהלת ב) ופניתי אני לראות חכמה והוללות וסכלות כי מה האדם שיבא אחרי המלך את אשר כבר עשוהו. And I turned to see wisdom, folly and foolishness, for what is left for a man to do, a man who comes after the…
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BEING G-D’S FIRSTBORN Parashat Shemot The hardest question to answer as a religious Jew is, if G-d is everything, and G-d is good, then why is the world so messed up? Why is there so much bad in the world? Couldn’t G-d create a world in which things would just make more sense? The answer…
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SOMETHING FOR THE KIDS Parashat Vayechi Someone asked me a few days after Hanukah how my vacation was. I answered that I am still בחפש. (I am still on vacation.) He asked me why I am still on vacation a week after Hanukah. I told him בחפש is also the acronym for the four things…
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A JEW COVERED IN FISH GOOK
A JEW COVERED IN FISH GOOK Parashat Vayigash One of the greatest psychological challenges we all deal with throughout life is defining who we are and discovering our value. G-d made Man with a need to feel he has value. This is why when Man cannot find an intrinsic value within himself, he searches for…
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PREPARED FOR THE WORST
PREPARED FOR THE WORST Parashat Miketz The most powerful way to teach someone a lesson, to change his story, his perspective, is through the power of a parable, a mashal, a story of some imaginary, made-up man. Because when someone tries to change how we think, we are too close to our own perspective,…
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GALUT AMERICA
GALUT AMERICA Hanukah In the days of the wicked Greek rule over Israel, it was decreed that every Jew whose house had a beam (to lock the door, as was the custom in those days) had to inscribe on it that he has no portion in the G-d of Israel. Immediately, the Jews got rid…
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I DON’T CARE ANYMORE
I DON’T CARE ANYMORE Parashat Vayishlach I coached someone who once had a lot of money. We had a heart to heart discussion about those years when EVERYONE was his best friend. He would take guys out to restaurants, on trips, and pay for all of his “friends’” expenses. He told me, “Yosef, none of…
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GLOOM
GLOOM Parashat Vayetze I’ve been trying to keep to the Segula of R Chaim Palachi for the month of Kislev. If you don’t complain from Rosh Chodesh Kislev until the 8th day of Chanukah, you are promised to have a miracle happen to you that year. I believe that the reason why the month of…
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G-D, WHY THE DELAY?
G-D, WHY THE DELAY? Parashat Toldot People don’t have as hard a time believing in G-d as they do accepting G-d. So many times, people pray and G-d makes the person wait, and then, sometimes, only after a while, G-d gets things moving. Many times, many people have a hard time understanding G-d, and accepting…
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PREPARED FOR LIFE
PREPARED FOR LIFE Parashat Vayera Rav Abahu said, why do we blow a Shofar made of a ram’s horn (on Rosh Hashana)? G-d said, blow Shofar of a ram before Me on Rosh Hashana, so that I will remember the Akeidah of Yitzhak, son of Abraham for you, and I will consider it as if…
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ALL YOU REALLY ARE
ALL YOU REALLY ARE Parashat Lech Lecha The Serenity Prayer is a prayer that is used by Alcoholics Anonymous. This is a prayer that has helped many people get out of various addictions. The prayer has a lot of wisdom to it. “G-d, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage…
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THE SILENT WITNESS
THE SILENT WITNESS Parashat Nitzavim Your best chance at judgment on Rosh Hashanah is to take it seriously. Rosh Hashanah is the time that G-d judges how much you value life as an opportunity to serve Him better. And the “impression” you make on Rosh Hashanah will be the New You for the New Year.…
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GO BIG OR GO HOME
GO BIG OR GO HOME Parashat Ki Tavo We have a mitzvah to be happy with all the good that G-d gives us. ושמחת בכל הטוב אשר נתן לך ה’ אלקיך. I always wondered why people who have more don’t seem to be happier people. My Rebbi taught me the following lesson. The world is split…
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YOUR OWN NEW TESTAMENT Parashat Ki Tetzeh The Ben Sorer Umoreh is the child we know who went astray from his parents, and went astray from the ways of the Torah. We all know that the word sorer means to go astray. But what does the word moreh mean? Rashi and the Targum explain this…
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NACHUM’S PRAYER
NACHUM’S PRAYER Parashat Shoftim Nachum Kligman, the Frum Entrepreneur, just put out an amazing book. One of my favorite parts of his book was something he mentioned, by chance, in a story. That before Nachum gets on a plane, he is accustomed to make a prayer. He prays to Hashem that his seat will be…
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A PHONE CALL FROM THE GANENNET
A PHONE CALL FROM THE GANENNET Parashat Masei Israel is passing some new laws. If a child does not show up in kindergarten or first grade for the first hour of school, the teacher is responsible for calling the parent to find out where the child is. This is meant to be a precaution taken…
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EXTENSIONISM Parashat Pinhas When asked by a client how many sessions he needs in order to see lasting change, I am always faced with a dilemma. Usually, in the first session alone, my client can see the truth and achieve clarity. Changing perspectives, reframing, calms people down, and they feel after a first session that…
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IF ONLY I KNEW
IF ONLY I KNEW Parashat Balak I was asked by a Rosh Yeshiva to coach a certain student who was disobeying Yeshiva’s rules. I asked the Rosh Yeshiva what his goal was in regard to the boy, what were his expectations from being in this relationship? His response was that all he wanted was to…
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THE SECRET INGREDIENTS OF AHARON’S PEACEMAKING METHOD
THE SECRET INGREDIENTS OF AHARON’S PEACEMAKING METHOD Parashat Hukat I can’t stop listening to Avraham Fried’s new song. “There’s a place, in your heart, deep within, known as the Kodesh Hakodoshim. There’s an altar there, with a Heavenly fire burning; that’s why we’re always yearning, that’s why we’re all returning.” I always had a hard…
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FRIEND OR FOE
FRIEND OR FOE Parashat Korach The wisest of men wrote that the definition of a good wife is a wife who knows how to build a family. Not a woman who is fashionable, witty, fun, supportive, rich, always encouraging or cute. But one who does her job, to build the home, whatever that entails. King…
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THE PREDICTABLY IRRATIONAL F.O.M.O. Parashat Shlach The spies were great men. How did they make such a grave mistake? The Targum Zohar 3; 158 says that all of the spies were men of stature and high position. But they decided upon this evil plan of speaking negatively about the Land. Why? Because they said to…
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LESSONS FROM THE BOXING RING
LESSONS FROM THE BOXING RING Parashat B’haalotcha מאויבי תחכמני. Joe Frazier, one of the most famous boxers in history, became a boxing coach when he got too old for the ring. He was asked why he could not train boxers to box like he did. He said, “I could teach ‘em how to throw a…
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THE BORSALINO BLUFF
THE BORSALINO BLUFF Parashat Naso/ Shavuoth At the Shabbat table last week, I played a game with my children. I started off a fill-in-the-blank statement, and they needed to generate more sentences on the same line. With money, you can buy a clock, but not time. With money, you can buy medicine, but not health.…
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S.T.U.P.I.D. Parashat Behar רבי לויטס איש יבנה אומר מאד מאד הוי שפל רוח שתקות אנוש רמה Rabbi Levitas, from Yavneh, says, “Be very, very, humble, for the Tikva, hope, of humans is the worm (Avot 4 ;4). On a simplistic level, this means that if you make sure to be acutely aware of the fact…
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YOUR TIME HAS COME
YOUR TIME HAS COME Parashat Vayikra My ultimate life coach is the Ramchal. He begins Messilat Yesharim talking about goals, about habits, about awareness, about growing step by step, etc. And the way he starts the ultimate coaching of all time is with his famous words. יסוד החסידות ושורש העבודה התמימה הוא שיתברר ויתאמת…
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THE NASTY COMMENT Parashat Pikudei Mordechai was known to be ורצוי לרב אחיו, accepted by most of his brothers. (10; 3) The Talmud (Megillah 16b) deducts, “And not accepted by all of his brothers.” The Talmud has its way of dealing with this, deducing from here, what it deduces, which I will not discuss. The…
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THE BIRTH OF THINKINGABOUTME.ORG
THE BIRTH OF THINKINGABOUTME.ORG Parashat Vayakhel This time of year is very special for me. It is the time of year that Thinkingaboutme.org was created. It all happened one Friday morning, in the long, double-Adar winter z’man of 2011. After dropping the kids off at school, I sat on my couch, with a pen and…
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