Thinkingaboutme.org
9 years of Parasha articles.
SOMETHING FOR THE KIDS Parashat Vayechi Someone asked me a few days after Hanukah how my vacation was. I answered that I am still בחפש. (I am still on vacation.) He asked me why I am still on vacation a week after Hanukah. I told him בחפש is also the acronym for the four things…
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A JEW COVERED IN FISH GOOK
A JEW COVERED IN FISH GOOK Parashat Vayigash One of the greatest psychological challenges we all deal with throughout life is defining who we are and discovering our value. G-d made Man with a need to feel he has value. This is why when Man cannot find an intrinsic value within himself, he searches for…
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PREPARED FOR THE WORST
PREPARED FOR THE WORST Parashat Miketz The most powerful way to teach someone a lesson, to change his story, his perspective, is through the power of a parable, a mashal, a story of some imaginary, made-up man. Because when someone tries to change how we think, we are too close to our own perspective,…
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GALUT AMERICA
GALUT AMERICA Hanukah In the days of the wicked Greek rule over Israel, it was decreed that every Jew whose house had a beam (to lock the door, as was the custom in those days) had to inscribe on it that he has no portion in the G-d of Israel. Immediately, the Jews got rid…
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I DON’T CARE ANYMORE
I DON’T CARE ANYMORE Parashat Vayishlach I coached someone who once had a lot of money. We had a heart to heart discussion about those years when EVERYONE was his best friend. He would take guys out to restaurants, on trips, and pay for all of his “friends’” expenses. He told me, “Yosef, none of…
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GLOOM
GLOOM Parashat Vayetze I’ve been trying to keep to the Segula of R Chaim Palachi for the month of Kislev. If you don’t complain from Rosh Chodesh Kislev until the 8th day of Chanukah, you are promised to have a miracle happen to you that year. I believe that the reason why the month of…
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G-D, WHY THE DELAY?
G-D, WHY THE DELAY? Parashat Toldot People don’t have as hard a time believing in G-d as they do accepting G-d. So many times, people pray and G-d makes the person wait, and then, sometimes, only after a while, G-d gets things moving. Many times, many people have a hard time understanding G-d, and accepting…
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PREPARED FOR LIFE
PREPARED FOR LIFE Parashat Vayera Rav Abahu said, why do we blow a Shofar made of a ram’s horn (on Rosh Hashana)? G-d said, blow Shofar of a ram before Me on Rosh Hashana, so that I will remember the Akeidah of Yitzhak, son of Abraham for you, and I will consider it as if…
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ALL YOU REALLY ARE
ALL YOU REALLY ARE Parashat Lech Lecha The Serenity Prayer is a prayer that is used by Alcoholics Anonymous. This is a prayer that has helped many people get out of various addictions. The prayer has a lot of wisdom to it. “G-d, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage…
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THE SILENT WITNESS
THE SILENT WITNESS Parashat Nitzavim Your best chance at judgment on Rosh Hashanah is to take it seriously. Rosh Hashanah is the time that G-d judges how much you value life as an opportunity to serve Him better. And the “impression” you make on Rosh Hashanah will be the New You for the New Year.…
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GO BIG OR GO HOME
GO BIG OR GO HOME Parashat Ki Tavo We have a mitzvah to be happy with all the good that G-d gives us. ושמחת בכל הטוב אשר נתן לך ה’ אלקיך. I always wondered why people who have more don’t seem to be happier people. My Rebbi taught me the following lesson. The world is split…
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YOUR OWN NEW TESTAMENT Parashat Ki Tetzeh The Ben Sorer Umoreh is the child we know who went astray from his parents, and went astray from the ways of the Torah. We all know that the word sorer means to go astray. But what does the word moreh mean? Rashi and the Targum explain this…
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NACHUM’S PRAYER
NACHUM’S PRAYER Parashat Shoftim Nachum Kligman, the Frum Entrepreneur, just put out an amazing book. One of my favorite parts of his book was something he mentioned, by chance, in a story. That before Nachum gets on a plane, he is accustomed to make a prayer. He prays to Hashem that his seat will be…
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A PHONE CALL FROM THE GANENNET
A PHONE CALL FROM THE GANENNET Parashat Masei Israel is passing some new laws. If a child does not show up in kindergarten or first grade for the first hour of school, the teacher is responsible for calling the parent to find out where the child is. This is meant to be a precaution taken…
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EXTENSIONISM Parashat Pinhas When asked by a client how many sessions he needs in order to see lasting change, I am always faced with a dilemma. Usually, in the first session alone, my client can see the truth and achieve clarity. Changing perspectives, reframing, calms people down, and they feel after a first session that…
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IF ONLY I KNEW
IF ONLY I KNEW Parashat Balak I was asked by a Rosh Yeshiva to coach a certain student who was disobeying Yeshiva’s rules. I asked the Rosh Yeshiva what his goal was in regard to the boy, what were his expectations from being in this relationship? His response was that all he wanted was to…
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THE SECRET INGREDIENTS OF AHARON’S PEACEMAKING METHOD
THE SECRET INGREDIENTS OF AHARON’S PEACEMAKING METHOD Parashat Hukat I can’t stop listening to Avraham Fried’s new song. “There’s a place, in your heart, deep within, known as the Kodesh Hakodoshim. There’s an altar there, with a Heavenly fire burning; that’s why we’re always yearning, that’s why we’re all returning.” I always had a hard…
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FRIEND OR FOE
FRIEND OR FOE Parashat Korach The wisest of men wrote that the definition of a good wife is a wife who knows how to build a family. Not a woman who is fashionable, witty, fun, supportive, rich, always encouraging or cute. But one who does her job, to build the home, whatever that entails. King…
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THE PREDICTABLY IRRATIONAL F.O.M.O. Parashat Shlach The spies were great men. How did they make such a grave mistake? The Targum Zohar 3; 158 says that all of the spies were men of stature and high position. But they decided upon this evil plan of speaking negatively about the Land. Why? Because they said to…
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LESSONS FROM THE BOXING RING
LESSONS FROM THE BOXING RING Parashat B’haalotcha מאויבי תחכמני. Joe Frazier, one of the most famous boxers in history, became a boxing coach when he got too old for the ring. He was asked why he could not train boxers to box like he did. He said, “I could teach ‘em how to throw a…
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THE BORSALINO BLUFF
THE BORSALINO BLUFF Parashat Naso/ Shavuoth At the Shabbat table last week, I played a game with my children. I started off a fill-in-the-blank statement, and they needed to generate more sentences on the same line. With money, you can buy a clock, but not time. With money, you can buy medicine, but not health.…
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S.T.U.P.I.D. Parashat Behar רבי לויטס איש יבנה אומר מאד מאד הוי שפל רוח שתקות אנוש רמה Rabbi Levitas, from Yavneh, says, “Be very, very, humble, for the Tikva, hope, of humans is the worm (Avot 4 ;4). On a simplistic level, this means that if you make sure to be acutely aware of the fact…
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YOUR TIME HAS COME
YOUR TIME HAS COME Parashat Vayikra My ultimate life coach is the Ramchal. He begins Messilat Yesharim talking about goals, about habits, about awareness, about growing step by step, etc. And the way he starts the ultimate coaching of all time is with his famous words. יסוד החסידות ושורש העבודה התמימה הוא שיתברר ויתאמת…
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THE NASTY COMMENT Parashat Pikudei Mordechai was known to be ורצוי לרב אחיו, accepted by most of his brothers. (10; 3) The Talmud (Megillah 16b) deducts, “And not accepted by all of his brothers.” The Talmud has its way of dealing with this, deducing from here, what it deduces, which I will not discuss. The…
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THE BIRTH OF THINKINGABOUTME.ORG
THE BIRTH OF THINKINGABOUTME.ORG Parashat Vayakhel This time of year is very special for me. It is the time of year that Thinkingaboutme.org was created. It all happened one Friday morning, in the long, double-Adar winter z’man of 2011. After dropping the kids off at school, I sat on my couch, with a pen and…
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WHAT PEOPLE SAY
WHAT PEOPLE SAY Parashat Ki Tisa The Avtinas family had a family secret. They were the only ones who knew how to make the Ketoret, the Temple Incense, in such a way that when it was brought on the Altar, the smoke would rise straight as a beam, and when it hit the ceiling, it…
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THE PARACHUTE JUMP Parashat Tezaveh One of my students doesn’t like attending class. So the other day, when he attended, I asked him why he bothered. Especially, because for that class, he was the first one there. “Rabbi, today, I went up to the North of Israel, and I jumped off a plane. I went…
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WISDOM FROM THE MENORAH Parashat Terumah Someone once asked one of the heads of Rolex, “So, how is the watch business going?” He answered, “I have no idea. I am not in the watch business! I am in the luxury business!” No one who needs a watch for telling time buys a Rolex. They buy…
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THE AVERAGE AMERICAN
THE AVERAGE AMERICAN Parashat Mishpatim ויתיצבו בתחתית ההר, And they stood at the foot of the mountain. (Shemot 19 ;17) Avdimi Bar Chasa said that this passuk teaches you that G-d turned the whole mountain over their heads. He said, if you accept the Torah, good. But if not, שם תהא קבורתכם, over there…
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JEWISH PEPPERSPRAY
JEWISH PEPPERSPRAY Parashat Yitro We are never defeated unless we give up on G-d. We cannot allow ourselves to get used to the current situation: Israel news does not go a day without an attack. I attended a Bar Mitzvah in the Aish Hatorah building in Jerusalem this last week. I parked in the Har…
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THE P3 TREE MODEL OF THE SUCCESSFUL
THE P3 TREE MODEL OF THE SUCCESSFUL Tu Bishvat On Tu B’shvat, we don’t say Tachanun; we do not confess our sins, for it is a day of celebration. We celebrate the trees, חג לאילנות. It is considered a new year in regard to tithing. Why does the birthday of the tree fall at…
Read MoreAN ONION FROM BRESLEV
AN ONION FROM BRESLEV Parashat Bo In Kiddush Levana, we mention something odd. We praise G-d for making a world that runs like clockwork, and for the fact that all of nature serves G-d happily. And then, this is what we say, וללבנה אמר שתתחדש עטרת תפארת לעמוסי בטן שגם הם עתידים להתחדש כמותה…
Read MorePLAN FOR A CHANGE
PLAN FOR A CHANGE Parashat Vaera A few weeks ago, I coached a yeshiva student who was in somewhat of an identity crisis. He decided that he wanted to be what he called “a Halacha Jew”. He wanted to keep halacha down to the smallest detail. The problem was that this boy was very far…
Read MoreYOUER THAN YOU Parashat Shemot One of the secrets of motivation is hidden in this week’s Midrash. וירא בסבלותם And Moshe saw their burden. What did he see? R’ Elazar the son of R’ Yossi said, He saw a small load on the big Jew, and he saw a big load on the…
Read MoreILLEGAL, IMMORAL AND FATTENING
ILLEGAL, IMMORAL AND FATTENING Parashat Vayechi Life really stinks. There are so many things in life we can’t have. Luxury is out of our budget. As one gentile put it, all the good stuff in life is illegal, immoral or fattening. Life is so complicated and frustrating , full of expectations that we have that…
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