Thinkingaboutme.org
9 years of Parasha articles.
A PHONE CALL FROM THE GANENNET
A PHONE CALL FROM THE GANENNET Parashat Masei Israel is passing some new laws. If a child does not show up in kindergarten or first grade for the first hour of school, the teacher is responsible for calling the parent to find out where the child is. This is meant to be a precaution taken…
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EXTENSIONISM Parashat Pinhas When asked by a client how many sessions he needs in order to see lasting change, I am always faced with a dilemma. Usually, in the first session alone, my client can see the truth and achieve clarity. Changing perspectives, reframing, calms people down, and they feel after a first session that…
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IF ONLY I KNEW
IF ONLY I KNEW Parashat Balak I was asked by a Rosh Yeshiva to coach a certain student who was disobeying Yeshiva’s rules. I asked the Rosh Yeshiva what his goal was in regard to the boy, what were his expectations from being in this relationship? His response was that all he wanted was to…
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THE SECRET INGREDIENTS OF AHARON’S PEACEMAKING METHOD
THE SECRET INGREDIENTS OF AHARON’S PEACEMAKING METHOD Parashat Hukat I can’t stop listening to Avraham Fried’s new song. “There’s a place, in your heart, deep within, known as the Kodesh Hakodoshim. There’s an altar there, with a Heavenly fire burning; that’s why we’re always yearning, that’s why we’re all returning.” I always had a hard…
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FRIEND OR FOE
FRIEND OR FOE Parashat Korach The wisest of men wrote that the definition of a good wife is a wife who knows how to build a family. Not a woman who is fashionable, witty, fun, supportive, rich, always encouraging or cute. But one who does her job, to build the home, whatever that entails. King…
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THE PREDICTABLY IRRATIONAL F.O.M.O. Parashat Shlach The spies were great men. How did they make such a grave mistake? The Targum Zohar 3; 158 says that all of the spies were men of stature and high position. But they decided upon this evil plan of speaking negatively about the Land. Why? Because they said to…
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LESSONS FROM THE BOXING RING
LESSONS FROM THE BOXING RING Parashat B’haalotcha מאויבי תחכמני. Joe Frazier, one of the most famous boxers in history, became a boxing coach when he got too old for the ring. He was asked why he could not train boxers to box like he did. He said, “I could teach ‘em how to throw a…
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THE BORSALINO BLUFF
THE BORSALINO BLUFF Parashat Naso/ Shavuoth At the Shabbat table last week, I played a game with my children. I started off a fill-in-the-blank statement, and they needed to generate more sentences on the same line. With money, you can buy a clock, but not time. With money, you can buy medicine, but not health.…
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S.T.U.P.I.D. Parashat Behar רבי לויטס איש יבנה אומר מאד מאד הוי שפל רוח שתקות אנוש רמה Rabbi Levitas, from Yavneh, says, “Be very, very, humble, for the Tikva, hope, of humans is the worm (Avot 4 ;4). On a simplistic level, this means that if you make sure to be acutely aware of the fact…
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YOUR TIME HAS COME
YOUR TIME HAS COME Parashat Vayikra My ultimate life coach is the Ramchal. He begins Messilat Yesharim talking about goals, about habits, about awareness, about growing step by step, etc. And the way he starts the ultimate coaching of all time is with his famous words. יסוד החסידות ושורש העבודה התמימה הוא שיתברר ויתאמת…
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THE NASTY COMMENT Parashat Pikudei Mordechai was known to be ורצוי לרב אחיו, accepted by most of his brothers. (10; 3) The Talmud (Megillah 16b) deducts, “And not accepted by all of his brothers.” The Talmud has its way of dealing with this, deducing from here, what it deduces, which I will not discuss. The…
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THE BIRTH OF THINKINGABOUTME.ORG
THE BIRTH OF THINKINGABOUTME.ORG Parashat Vayakhel This time of year is very special for me. It is the time of year that Thinkingaboutme.org was created. It all happened one Friday morning, in the long, double-Adar winter z’man of 2011. After dropping the kids off at school, I sat on my couch, with a pen and…
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WHAT PEOPLE SAY
WHAT PEOPLE SAY Parashat Ki Tisa The Avtinas family had a family secret. They were the only ones who knew how to make the Ketoret, the Temple Incense, in such a way that when it was brought on the Altar, the smoke would rise straight as a beam, and when it hit the ceiling, it…
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THE PARACHUTE JUMP Parashat Tezaveh One of my students doesn’t like attending class. So the other day, when he attended, I asked him why he bothered. Especially, because for that class, he was the first one there. “Rabbi, today, I went up to the North of Israel, and I jumped off a plane. I went…
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WISDOM FROM THE MENORAH Parashat Terumah Someone once asked one of the heads of Rolex, “So, how is the watch business going?” He answered, “I have no idea. I am not in the watch business! I am in the luxury business!” No one who needs a watch for telling time buys a Rolex. They buy…
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THE AVERAGE AMERICAN
THE AVERAGE AMERICAN Parashat Mishpatim ויתיצבו בתחתית ההר, And they stood at the foot of the mountain. (Shemot 19 ;17) Avdimi Bar Chasa said that this passuk teaches you that G-d turned the whole mountain over their heads. He said, if you accept the Torah, good. But if not, שם תהא קבורתכם, over there…
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JEWISH PEPPERSPRAY
JEWISH PEPPERSPRAY Parashat Yitro We are never defeated unless we give up on G-d. We cannot allow ourselves to get used to the current situation: Israel news does not go a day without an attack. I attended a Bar Mitzvah in the Aish Hatorah building in Jerusalem this last week. I parked in the Har…
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THE P3 TREE MODEL OF THE SUCCESSFUL
THE P3 TREE MODEL OF THE SUCCESSFUL Tu Bishvat On Tu B’shvat, we don’t say Tachanun; we do not confess our sins, for it is a day of celebration. We celebrate the trees, חג לאילנות. It is considered a new year in regard to tithing. Why does the birthday of the tree fall at…
Read MoreAN ONION FROM BRESLEV
AN ONION FROM BRESLEV Parashat Bo In Kiddush Levana, we mention something odd. We praise G-d for making a world that runs like clockwork, and for the fact that all of nature serves G-d happily. And then, this is what we say, וללבנה אמר שתתחדש עטרת תפארת לעמוסי בטן שגם הם עתידים להתחדש כמותה…
Read MorePLAN FOR A CHANGE
PLAN FOR A CHANGE Parashat Vaera A few weeks ago, I coached a yeshiva student who was in somewhat of an identity crisis. He decided that he wanted to be what he called “a Halacha Jew”. He wanted to keep halacha down to the smallest detail. The problem was that this boy was very far…
Read MoreYOUER THAN YOU Parashat Shemot One of the secrets of motivation is hidden in this week’s Midrash. וירא בסבלותם And Moshe saw their burden. What did he see? R’ Elazar the son of R’ Yossi said, He saw a small load on the big Jew, and he saw a big load on the…
Read MoreILLEGAL, IMMORAL AND FATTENING
ILLEGAL, IMMORAL AND FATTENING Parashat Vayechi Life really stinks. There are so many things in life we can’t have. Luxury is out of our budget. As one gentile put it, all the good stuff in life is illegal, immoral or fattening. Life is so complicated and frustrating , full of expectations that we have that…
Read MoreTHE MAGICAL DREIDEL
THE MAGICAL DREIDEL An incredibly interesting question was asked by R’ Zacharia Wallerstien. The letters on the Dreidel, on the סביבון, are the letters נ’ ג’ ה’ ש’ , that are an acronym of נס גדול היה שם, a great miracle happened there. Now, the legend goes, that at the time of the Greek…
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THE SECRET OF SELF-DISCIPLINE
THE SECRET OF SELF-DISCIPLINE Parashat Vayeshev Yosef, one of the most handsome men ever, was tested by Potifar’s wife in a way that we cannot begin to fathom. The seduction was obsessive. This wicked woman threatened to kill Yosef, to defame him and otherwise cause him harm. It would have been so much easier…
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MARRIED TO A MATERIALISTIC MAN
MARRIED TO A MATERIALISTIC MAN Parashat Vayishlach We are judged for everything we do. But, that judging is so complex, because it means taking into consideration each individual person in his own, particular life, factoring in where they came from and in what given circumstances they find themselves. The same action can be a…
Read MoreHOW TO ATTRACT YOUR SOULMATE
HOW TO ATTRACT YOUR SOULMATE Parashat Vayetze Prayer. It can be the most emotionally intense part of your day, or just something that you need to get over in order to get on to the next thing. It all depends on your approach to prayer, how much you believe in it, and your state of…
Read MoreTHE HOLY THIEF
THE HOLY THIEF Parashat Toldot Next to the grave of the Sabba of Shpoli is the famous tombstone that says, “Here lies Yossele, the Holy Thief”. The Hassidic masters tell that the Saba from Shpoli would spend a lot of his time with the Jewish thieves in town. “I can rely on my bandits. I…
Read MoreTHE BREAKDANCING PRESIDENT
THE BREAKDANCING PRESIDENT Parashat Chaye Sarah There are three peculiar Berachot, that we make each day. שלא עשני גוי, שלא עשני עבד, שלא עשני אשה. Blessed are You… for You did not make me a gentile, … for not making me a slave, … for not making me a woman. What is so bad about…
Read MoreTHE SECRET MOTIVE TO PASS LIFE’S TESTS
THE SECRET MOTIVE TO PASS LIFE’S TESTS Parashat Lech Lecha We are all on this 120 year voyage through a world of tests and trials. One of Judaism’s core beliefs is that we get rewarded for passing tests. Not always do we have access to that inner power to overcome the challenges and temptations…
Read MoreSUKKAH CONTRADICTION
SUKKAH CONTRADICTION Sukkot has some sort of paradox in it. On the one hand, we are to go out to the hut and live a temporary lifestyle for a week, to internalize the lesson of temporariness in this world. On the other hand, there is a concept of תשבו כעין תדורו – the sukkah needs…
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THINGS vs. RELATIONSHIPS
THINGS vs. RELATIONSHIPS Sukkot There is a secret in happiness that is hidden in Sukkot. On Sukkot, we are commanded to be happy. But what if I am not? There is a mitzvah in Sukkot to make our families happy. There is a mitzvah on Sukkot to be happy with G-d. But what if I…
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THE LAW OF INFLUENCE AND PERSUASION
THE LAW OF INFLUENCE AND PERSUASION Parashat Pinhas The most powerful way to persuade and influence is to offer a vehicle that will get the person from his point A to his point B. Everyone has a point A, the place where they are at the moment. And everyone has a point B, the place…
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HAPPY IN THE HOLOCAUST
HAPPY IN THE HOLOCAUST Parashat Hukat Everybody wants to be happy. Very few people are. One fellow says, “All I need is to get married, and then I can be happy”. His friend says back to him, “All I need is to get divorced, and then I can find happiness in life.” A third fellow…
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THE "F" PIRATES
THE “F” PIRATES Parashat Korah The emotions that control us the most are the emotions that we do not notice. Just awareness of an emotion is more than 50% of the solution. Many times, others can be more aware than we are of the emotions that are inhibiting us, because emotions are blind spots. This…
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