EXTENSIONISM Parashat Pinhas When asked by a client how many sessions he needs in order to see lasting change, I am always faced with a dilemma. Usually, in the first session alone, my client can see the truth and achieve clarity. Changing perspectives, reframing, calms people down, and they feel after a first session that…

IF ONLY I KNEW Parashat Balak I was asked by a Rosh Yeshiva to coach a certain student who was disobeying Yeshiva’s rules. I asked the Rosh Yeshiva what his goal was in regard to the boy, what were his expectations from being in this relationship? His response was that all he wanted was to…

THE SECRET INGREDIENTS OF AHARON’S PEACEMAKING METHOD Parashat Hukat I can’t stop listening to Avraham Fried’s new song. “There’s a place, in your heart, deep within, known as the Kodesh Hakodoshim. There’s an altar there, with a Heavenly fire burning; that’s why we’re always yearning, that’s why we’re all returning.” I always had a hard…

FRIEND OR FOE Parashat Korach The wisest of men wrote that the definition of a good wife is a wife who knows how to build a family. Not a woman who is fashionable, witty, fun, supportive, rich, always encouraging or cute. But one who does her job, to build the home, whatever that entails. King…

THE PREDICTABLY IRRATIONAL F.O.M.O. Parashat Shlach The spies were great men. How did they make such a grave mistake? The Targum Zohar 3; 158 says that all of the spies were men of stature and high position. But they decided upon this evil plan of speaking negatively about the Land. Why? Because they said to…