vayera 2013
THE GREATNESS OF A MENTOR – THE GREAT LOSS IN LOSING ONE
This week’s parasha opens with our Forefather Avraham, sitting at the entrance of his tent. At the age 99, he is in tremendous pain, three days after his Brit Milah. G-d does not want Avraham to exert himself taking in guests while in such pain, so He increases the usual strength of the sun’s rays so that people would stay indoors, and there would be no wayfarers. Everyone remains indoors. G-d Himself visits Avraham, Himself performing the mitzvah of Bikur Holim, visiting the sick. Suddenly, Avraham sees three men in the distance. They appear to be Yishmaelim, simple people. They are actually angels disguised as people. (It seems that G-d sent the angels to Avraham in the likeness of people because the absence of guests also caused him pain.) Avraham cannot bear to see people walking by his home without inviting them in. So, in the middle of this divine visit, he asks G-d if he can be excused for a moment, in order to host his potential guests.
How can Avraham do that? He is in middle of talking to G-d… מקבל פני השכינה , and the whole idea of מצוות is to get close to G-d!( מצוה מלשון צוותא, the word Mitzvah has a root from the word bonding, or together.) Avraham was already there! He was already talking to G-d! And not only did he leave Him, but he ran to the “guests”, with his back to G-d!
The Talmud teaches us (Shabbat 127a) גדולה הכנסת אורחים מהקבלת פני שכינה The mitzvah of having guests is greater than welcoming the Divine Presence! And Avraham knew this on his own. How? Because Avraham was so close to G-d that he instinctively knew that the way one becomes close to G-d is by going in His ways. As Rashi says (Devarim 13; 5) on the passuk לדבקה בו to cleave to G-d, the way to become close to G-d is by going in His ways, to mirror and replicate His מדות and characteristics. There is no getting closer to G-d than that. This is because a person is created in the image of G-d בצלמנו כדמותנו , and just as He is merciful, so should you be. Just as He behaves with grace, so should you. This is the way one connects with G-d. Connecting with G-d in this way creates an even greater closeness than what would be by having G-d visit you in your home.
And its deeper than that, as well. There is a part of G-d present in every person, חלק אלוק ממעל. Aperson is also created in G-d’s image , a צלם אלוקים. When Avraham got permission from G-d to run to the guests, he was actually running to the Shechina, the Divine Presence, in the other person. For each and every person, even a Yishmaelite, has within him a portion of G-d’s essence. Avraham didn’t care if a person was rich or poor, clever or simple, famous or unknown. He saw the godliness in everyone. That is the way he invited guests. He connected with them in a very deep way; he recognized and addressed their צלם אלקים. He did not just go through the motions of inviting people; he did so with genuine, great respect.
There was another person in this week’s parasha who invited guests into his home: Lot, Sarah’s brother, Avraham’s nephew. Looking closely at the two instances, one can notice the contrast between them. Lot learned to invite guests in from Avraham Avinu. But he did not believe in this צלם אלקים concept. If he had, he would not have been able to live in Sedom, a place where the people were extremely cruel to others. We see how Lot was willing to be מוסר נפש, make a tremendous degree of self sacrifice to take in the guests in Sedom. He even went so far as to put his life and the lives of his family members on the line. And yet, this did not afford him with enough merit to have his life saved, to except him from the decree of annihilation of Sedom. Rather, as Rashi comments on the passuk ויזכר אלקים את אברהם And G-d remembered Avraham, (19;29) that Lot was saved from the destruction of Sedom only in the merit of his silence, years earlier. Before entering Egypt, Avraham asked Sarah to tell the Egyptians that he was her brother and not her husband. Had Lot revealed the truth to the Egyptians, Avraham could have been in grave danger. Lot was rewarded for his silence. Not for his self sacrifice in taking the angels into his house in Sedom. Why?
The Maharal answers that Lot learned from Avraham only the physical, external, and technical details of having guests. It was not the real thing. We can also notice the difference in the word describing the guests. In the case of Avraham, the Torah called the guests “people, אנשים”. In the incident with Lot, they are called “מלאכים, angels”. Why the switch? The answer is that Avraham accepted everyone with generosity, even simple people who were, for one reason or another, detained in the desert. Lot , on the other hand, also gave five star accommodations, but only for angels. Important people. This type of Hachnasat Orchim was not a mitzvah that merited his being saved from the decree of his townsfolk, the people of Sedom.
There is something else that we must notice. Although Lot was very diligent about his mitzvah of Hachnasat Orchim, when the entire town of Sedom threatened to break down the door and take the guests, Lot faced the angry mob, trying to calm them down by offering them his engaged daughters. Do with them whatever you want; just leave my guests alone. How could Lot make such an inhumane offer, just for the sake of sparing his guests? Where and what was his value system? The answer is obvious. Lot was exposed to Avraham during the period when Avraham was childless. Lot learnt from Avraham the technicalities of how to host guests. He never had the opportunity to observe a healthy parent-child relationship in Avraham’s house. When we do not have proper mentors, even the good actions we do might not be done in the correct proportion. Without a mentor, one might even come to great self sacrifice with good intentions, but err completely in the broader context of life.
The world has just lost a great, great man, Hacham Ovadia Yosef, zt”l. He was the ultimate mentor of many who act as mentors in the world today. I was there, in Jerusalem, on the streets of Geulah, at the funeral. Close to a million people crying. Ripped shirts. Over the passing of a great, 93-year-old Rabbi. Over and over, the loudspeaker wailed in Hebrew, “Woe is to the generation who has lost its father. Woe is to the ship who has lost its captain.”
From the time of the funeral, I asked everyone I knew to tell me the story of the Rabbi that made the greatest impression on their memory. I got the most amazing, inspiring, and often personal stories. Stories of things that most people do not know about R’ Ovadia. I collected about 30 of those stories, but I still felt it was not enough. I sat down to put together the thoughts of this weeks parasha that appear in the beginning of this article, and then… I felt it. When we lose a leader, we lose guidance in how to do things. Lot lost his connection with Avraham and had no model, no instructor and no instruction as to how things should be done. We have lost a Gadol, and we can easily forget the way a Jew is supposed to look. R’ Ovadia respected everyone equally. He saw the צלם אלקים in everyone and connected to so many, many people. He lit up their lives with Torah. He valued every single minute of his own life, which was totally dedicated to Torah. We have lost that figure in our lives. And so, I finish this article with a tear in my eye over the loss of a great tzaddik, and with the words of the loudspeakers echoing in my ears…
“Woe is to the generation who lost its father. Woe is to the ship that has lost its captain…”
THE GREATEST TEST FOR MANKIND
A few years back, there was a small minyan that gathered in a room adjacent to the house of one of the neighbors. The intimate group in its cozy quarters used to invite a diverse choice of speakers between Mincha and Arvit Friday Night. One fellow shared the following idea, about 7 years ago.
The Sephardim have this beautiful, tear-rending piyut (poem) that they chant on the High Holidays: Et Shaarei Ratzon. It describes, in great detail and emotion, the episode of the Akeidat Yitzchak. Sephardim recite this before the blowing of the Shofar. The paytan, author of the piyut, mentions that Avraham experienced somewhat conflicting emotions at the time of the Akeida – עין במר בוכה ולב שמח , eyes crying bitterly, but with a happy heart. Of course, we can all understand how Avraham would be crying, as he prepared the knife to slaughter his son. But how can the paytan know that Avraham was happy in his heart at that moment of such a difficult test? Maybe Avraham was sad in his heart at the time of the Akeida?
Question two: Why didn’t Hashem tell Avraham, from the outset, where he was supposed to take Yitzchak to sacrifice him? Avraham had to walk until he found a mountain upon which the Cloud of Glory rested. How can we understand this, and in what way does it add to the test?
The answer is so powerful, that I felt I had to share it with others. I feel that I won’t do this thought justice by leaving it only in my own memory, as I was one of the few people who heard it in that small shul a few years back.
While Avraham was undergoing this test, seemingly the greatest test of all, there was a much deeper test that could conceivably go unnoticed. We are taught that a person cannot have prophesy or Ruach Hakodesh when he is not happy. אין רוח הקודש שורה אלא על לב שמח (ירושלמי סוכה ה,א); אין שכינה ואין נבואה שורה לא מתוך עצבות(פסחים קיז,א) .Yaakov lost his Ruach Hakodesh during the years that he was dejected at having lost Yosef. Had Avraham been heavy-hearted when he was on his way to do this mitzvah, he would not have seen the Presence of G-d on the top of the mountain, for it could be discerned only through prophetic vision. The only way that it would be possible for Avraham to pass this test, to bring his son to the altar and almost sacrifice him was if Avraham would be happy to do as he was commanded.
We can take this a step further. A more frightening step further. If Avraham would have been steeped in sadness up there on the top of the mountain with his knife in his hand over Yitschak’s neck, he would not have heard the Heavenly Voice call out to him, telling him to refrain from slaughtering his son. And then, we would not be here today reading this article.
A person can live his whole life learning, praying, doing kindness – everything that a Jew is cut out to do. He can try so hard – but with a frown. And then, when he gets Upstairs, he will be told: “You passed all the tests but the biggest one!” –To be happy when serving G-d. To enjoy it.
How does one enjoy it, when he must go through so much? How could Avraham “enjoy it”, when he had to give up his only link to the future of Judaism? The answer is because there is no greater pleasure in the world, nothing that can in any way compare to appreciation for the Creator. A relationship with the Creator. However much a person is willing to give up for saving his son’s life, this pleasure is not in the same league as serving G-d with recognition of and appreciation for all that He gave us and gives us. So, we Sephardim chant , עין במר בוכה ולב שמח , an eye crying bitterly for losing a son, losing one of the greatest pleasures human beings can know, for a greater pleasure, one in a completely different league: following G-d’s Will.
HOW TO FOCUS ON PRAYER
We all want to pray with full concentration, yet our minds wander so often. This makes prayer pretty frustrating. The truth is that today, more than ever before, staying focused is a difficult goal for much of humanity. Is there any effective technique that will help us to stay focused when we pray, and keep us from thinking about the things on our minds?
I would like you to focus for a minute and observe minute details. Go ahead and focus.
Of course, you are probably having trouble, since you were not asked to focus on anything in particular. It turns out that this is very largely the difficulty of focusing in prayer, as well. Unfortunately, we often forget to focus on communicating with G-d, and focus instead on the next word in the siddur. We try to focus on the words, but this is like trying to communicate with someone when you are thinking mainly about which words to use, rather than the topic of the conversation. In order for us to understand and appreciate what is really being said, we have to be able to focus in on the conversation. Allow me to elaborate.
Our Forefather Avraham was the first person to come up with the concept of praying to G-d on a daily basis. He initiated the Morning Prayer. Furthermore, the Talmud (Berachot 6b) tells us that Avraham had a set place for prayer. In its discussion, the Talmud also tells us that the word standing (amidah) is a synonym for the word prayer. Why is this so? The answer is that the word amidah actually has a double meaning. It means standing, but it also means standing still – as opposed to moving. And this is central to the idea of prayer: standing still and stopping, in order to focus. This means realizing that we are standing in front of G-d, and we are addressing our Maker as “You” (אתה). Thinking about other things, such as items on our “To do” list, is simply not appropriate at this time. That is not standing still, but rather being on the way to doing something else.
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In the episode in which Avraham prayed for the people of Sedom, we also find our great Forefather standing: ואברהם עודנו עומד לפני ה’ (יח, כב) (Avraham was still standing in front of G-d).. Rabbi Chaim Soloveitchik deduces from the Rambam that forgetting that we are standing in front of G-d at any time in prayer actually disqualifies the prayer. It turns out, then, that the requirement to be aware of standing in front of our Maker is much stricter then the requirement to concentrate on the words we are saying in prayer: missing concentration disqualifies the prayer only regarding the first blessing of the Shmoneh Esrei (not the other blessings), but failing to remember that we are talking to G-d disqualifies the prayer at any point. This is what the Torah is hinting at when it tells us that Avraham was still standing in front of G-d. He did not forget for a second where he was.
This insight can help us in maintaining our concentration and proper intention in prayer. The way the mind focuses is through associations. If we try to understand the words we are saying without concentrating where we are and what we are in middle of, it is much more difficult for the mind to keep focused. But, if we always bear in mind that we are standing in front of G-d, and remind ourselves to Whom we are talking each time we say “You” (אתה), then we have a much better chance of achieving comprehension as well.
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