english vayera 2012
THE GREATEST TEST FOR MANKIND
A few years back, there was a small minyan that gathered in a room adjacent to the house of one of the neighbors. The intimate group in its cozy quarters used to invite a diverse choice of speakers between Mincha and Arvit Friday Night. One fellow shared the following idea, about 7 years ago.
The Sephardim have this beautiful, tear-rending piyut (poem) that they chant on the High Holidays: Et Shaarei Ratzon. It describes, in great detail and emotion, the episode of the Akeidat Yitzchak. Sephardim recite this before the blowing of the Shofar. The paytan, author of the piyut, mentions that Avraham experienced somewhat conflicting emotions at the time of the Akeida – עין במר בוכה ולב שמח , eyes crying bitterly, but with a happy heart. Of course, we can all understand how Avraham would be crying, as he prepared the knife to slaughter his son. But how can the paytan know that Avraham was happy in his heart at that moment of such a difficult test? Maybe Avraham was sad in his heart at the time of the Akeida?
Question two: Why didn’t Hashem tell Avraham, from the outset, where he was supposed to take Yitzchak to sacrifice him? Avraham had to walk until he found a mountain upon which the Cloud of Glory rested. How can we understand this, and in what way does it add to the test?
The answer is so powerful, that I felt I had to share it with others. I feel that I won’t do this thought justice by leaving it only in my own memory, as I was one of the few people who heard it in that small shul a few years back.
While Avraham was undergoing this test, seemingly the greatest test of all, there was a much deeper test that could conceivably go unnoticed. We are taught that a person cannot have prophesy or Ruach Hakodesh when he is not happy. אין רוח הקודש שורה אלא על לב שמח (ירושלמי סוכה ה,א); אין שכינה ואין נבואה שורה לא מתוך עצבות(פסחים קיז,א) .Yaakov lost his Ruach Hakodesh during the years that he was dejected at having lost Yosef. Had Avraham been heavy-hearted when he was on his way to do this mitzvah, he would not have seen the Presence of G-d on the top of the mountain, for it could be discerned only through prophetic vision. The only way that it would be possible for Avraham to pass this test, to bring his son to the altar and almost sacrifice him was if Avraham would be happy to do as he was commanded.
We can take this a step further. A more frightening step further. If Avraham would have been steeped in sadness up there on the top of the mountain with his knife in his hand over Yitschak’s neck, he would not have heard the Heavenly Voice call out to him, telling him to refrain from slaughtering his son. And then, we would not be here today reading this article.
A person can live his whole life learning, praying, doing kindness – everything that a Jew is cut out to do. He can try so hard – but with a frown. And then, when he gets Upstairs, he will be told: “You passed all the tests but the biggest one!” –To be happy when serving G-d. To enjoy it.
How does one enjoy it, when he must go through so much? How could Avraham “enjoy it”, when he had to give up his only link to the future of Judaism? The answer is because there is no greater pleasure in the world, nothing that can in any way compare to appreciation for the Creator. A relationship with the Creator. However much a person is willing to give up for saving his son’s life, this pleasure is not in the same league as serving G-d with recognition of and appreciation for all that He gave us and gives us. So, we Sephardim chant , עין במר בוכה ולב שמח , an eye crying bitterly for losing a son, losing one of the greatest pleasures human beings can know, for a greater pleasure, one in a completely different league: following G-d’s Will.
HOW TO FOCUS ON PRAYER
We all want to pray with full concentration, yet our minds wander so often. This makes prayer pretty frustrating. The truth is that today, more than ever before, staying focused is a difficult goal for much of humanity. Is there any effective technique that will help us to stay focused when we pray, and keep us from thinking about the things on our minds?
I would like you to focus for a minute and observe minute details. Go ahead and focus.
Of course, you are probably having trouble, since you were not asked to focus on anything in particular. It turns out that this is very largely the difficulty of focusing in prayer, as well. Unfortunately, we often forget to focus on communicating with G-d, and focus instead on the next word in the siddur. We try to focus on the words, but this is like trying to communicate with someone when you are thinking mainly about which words to use, rather than the topic of the conversation. In order for us to understand and appreciate what is really being said, we have to be able to focus in on the conversation. Allow me to elaborate.
Our Forefather Avraham was the first person to come up with the concept of praying to G-d on a daily basis. He initiated the Morning Prayer. Furthermore, the Talmud (Berachot 6b) tells us that Avraham had a set place for prayer. In its discussion, the Talmud also tells us that the word standing (amidah) is a synonym for the word prayer. Why is this so? The answer is that the word amidah actually has a double meaning. It means standing, but it also means standing still – as opposed to moving. And this is central to the idea of prayer: standing still and stopping, in order to focus. This means realizing that we are standing in front of G-d, and we are addressing our Maker as “You” (אתה). Thinking about other things, such as items on our “To do” list, is simply not appropriate at this time. That is not standing still, but rather being on the way to doing something else.
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In the episode in which Avraham prayed for the people of Sedom, we also find our great Forefather standing: ואברהם עודנו עומד לפני ה’ (יח, כב) (Avraham was still standing in front of G-d).. Rabbi Chaim Soloveitchik deduces from the Rambam that forgetting that we are standing in front of G-d at any time in prayer actually disqualifies the prayer. It turns out, then, that the requirement to be aware of standing in front of our Maker is much stricter then the requirement to concentrate on the words we are saying in prayer: missing concentration disqualifies the prayer only regarding the first blessing of the Shmoneh Esrei (not the other blessings), but failing to remember that we are talking to G-d disqualifies the prayer at any point. This is what the Torah is hinting at when it tells us that Avraham was still standing in front of G-d. He did not forget for a second where he was.
This insight can help us in maintaining our concentration and proper intention in prayer. The way the mind focuses is through associations. If we try to understand the words we are saying without concentrating where we are and what we are in middle of, it is much more difficult for the mind to keep focused. But, if we always bear in mind that we are standing in front of G-d, and remind ourselves to Whom we are talking each time we say “You” (אתה), then we have a much better chance of achieving comprehension as well.
LEARNING FROM OUR PATRIARCHS AND MATRIARCHS
It is naive to think that men and women communicate in a similar fashion; it is even more so to think that we can explain the conduct of our Patriarchs and Matriarchs in terms of our own perspective on life. Allow me to expound on these two common misconceptions, and how they overlap in this week’s parashah.
The Torah and the Midrash tell us that Sarah noticed the immoral actions of Yishmael, the son of Avraham and Hagar. Among them was his new sport of shooting arrows over the head of Sarah’s son, Yitzchak. The teenaged Yishmael claimed that he was only playing, and that no harm would come of it. Yishmael would also mock Yitzchak by pointing out that he himself was the first-born, and therefore entitled to a double share of the inheritance. Sarah could not see these things and sit idly by, and requested that Avraham “send away this maidservant and her son, for this maidservant’s son will not inherit together with my son Yitzchak.”
Many people misinterpret the ensuing disagreement between Avraham and Sarah about whether or not to send Yishmael and Hagar away. They see it as something personal. But the Tosefta (Sota 5) makes it quite clear that this was not the case at all. Both Sarah and Avraham were concerned about possible damage to G-d’s honor and “reputation” – what we call chillul HaShem. Sarah meant to communicate: “If my son Yitzchak learns from Yishmael’s behavior and habits, won’t the name of Heaven be desecrated?” Sarah was concerned that the Name of G-d would be disgraced if her son, a future Patriarch of the Jewish Nation, would pick up any Yishmael-like traits. Avraham responded that he had great difficulty fulfilling this request: “After we upgraded Hagar from maidservant to housewife, what would people say if we drive her from our home? Avraham was concerned about their stature as Patriarchs and about possible desecration of Heaven’s Name as well. Sarah answered that since there are differences between us, Heaven should arbitrate. And, indeed, G-d ruled in her favor. He said to Avraham: “Whatever Sarah says to you, heed her voice.” Now, this terminology is a bit surprising, as Rashi notes. Why did G-d say “heed her voice,” and not “heed her words“? Isn’t a voice without words just incomprehensible sound?
G-d was hinting to Avraham that Sarah was a greater prophet than he. Her voice was her prophetic voice, her power of prophecy. However, there is a further peculiarity in this verse which actually speaks volumes if we can just tune in to the Hebrew. Avraham is told to “heed/listen to her voice” – שמע בקולה. Wouldn’t it be more grammatically correct to say לקולה שמע? By using the letter (actually a preposition here) ב, G-d seems to be suggesting more than just heeding/listening.
I think the deeper meaning is something along the following lines: When a husband or son hears his wife or mother saying something, he may tend to listen mainly to what is specifically verbalized, but be less tuned in to the emotions being communicated. He forgets that women tend to use non-verbal cues such as tone, emotion, and empathy when conveying what is on their mind. This is what G-d was telling Avraham. When listening to Sarah, listen not only to what she says, but to the way in which she says it.
Now let’s take a closer look at Sarah’s request that Avraham send away Yishmael and Hagar: “Send away this maid servant and her son, for this maidservant’s son will not inherit with my son with Yitzchak.” At first glance, it may seems that Sarah was being over-protective of her son Yitzchak and jealous of Hagar’s relationship with her husband, Avraham. From the Midrashim, however, it is obvious that this is not the case at all. Sarah felt that Hagar had to be sent away as well, for if she did not know how to raise Yishmael properly, she could not be a mother in the house of Avraham – a house where people were trained to serve G-d. Sarah was focused on values and morals, not personal considerations. To sanctify G-d’s Name was her highest priority. These inner feelings and sense of judgment were actually a result of her high level of prophecy. Out of respect to her husband, she still was careful not to say to Avraham that she knew she was right as a result of her higher level of prophecy. So, she found a way of saying it as if it were something personal.
Going one step further, it is a fact of life that most women do not answer “Yes” or “No” to questions that men routinely handle with short answers. Women, in general, and modest women, in particular, tend not to state their feelings explicitly. They need a chance to express themselves. If not given this chance, they may well avoid committing themselves. And even after they do express themselves, they may still say: “I don’t know; do whatever you feel.” A man must, therefore, listen perceptively to a woman’s voice, feel her feelings, and figure out on his own exactly what she wants. This is, essentially, what G-d said to Avraham שמע בקולה and not שמע לקולה – “listen into” her voice, not just to what her voice is explicitly saying.
The Chatam Sofer brings evidence for this concept from Lavan’s remark to Eliezer concerning giving Rivkah’s hand to Yitzchak in marriage: נקרא לנערה ונשאלה את פיה – “We will call the girl and ask her mouth” (Bereishit 24:57) . On the surface, the word פיה (her mouth) seems superfluous. The Chatam Sofer explains: Lavan was willing to do whatever possible to prevent his sister from marrying Yitzchak and building the Jewish Nation. Lavan figured that if they put Rivkah on the spot and asked: Do you want to marry him, yes or no? – she would be neither willing nor able to give a direct response. Lavan would then explain that she does not want to go. Instead, a miracle happened, and Rivkah gave a clear “Yes!” to the question.
