YOU ARE NOT EXCUSED
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YOU ARE NOT EXCUSED
Parashat Noach
After the flood, Noah first attempted to send the raven to verify that the land had dried up, but the raven refused to go on this mission. He had two claims. “Your Master hates me, and you hate me! Your master hates me, for He allowed seven kosher animals and birds in the Ark, but only 2 of non-kosher species! You hate me, because you chose to send from a species with only two on a dangerous mission, instead of selecting a species that has seven! If I dehydrate, or if I die from frostbite, my species will go extinct! … Maybe you are after my wife, Mrs. Raven?!?
Noah answered Raven, “רשע ! Wicked one! With my wife, whom I am allowed to be with, it is forbidden to have marital relations during these days of Flood, …for sure, with a species that is not permitted to me, it is prohibited during the Flood! (Sanhedrin 108b)
Let us break this down. Raven had two claims on Noah. 1. If there is no other Raven in the world, why risk its extinction? You can easily send Dove, who, if he doesn’t return, can be replaced by others! 2. It seems that you are sending me out to die, because you have feelings for my wife!
One second. Why was Raven referred to as a Rasha, a wicked one? Noah only answered claim two with a good answer. But claim one was never addressed or answered!
This is a lesson for all of us. Noah asked a favor from Raven, and Raven had two claims. Once Noah proved that the second claim was bogus, the first claim becomes an “excuse.” Raven, you just don’t want to do for me the favor I asked of you. Noah did not have to answer question one, because question one was not a question. It was an excuse.
When Avraham was faced with three angels on the day of his greatest pain, he had a million valid excuses not to accept these “guests”. וַיָּ֤רָץ לִקְרָאתָם֙ Avraham did not approach them,… he ran towards them! וַיְמַהֵ֧ר אַבְרָהָ֛ם הָאֹ֖הֱלָה אֶל־שָׂרָ֑ה וַיֹּ֗אמֶר מַהֲרִ֞י שְׁלֹ֤שׁ סְאִים֙ קֶ֣מַח סֹ֔לֶת ל֖וּשִׁי וַעֲשִׂ֥י עֻגֽוֹת:: And Avraham hurried to the tent, to Sarah, and he said, Rush, three Se’ah fine flour, kneed it, and make cakes! וְאֶל־הַבָּקָ֖ר רָ֣ץ אַבְרָהָ֑ם And to the cattle, Avraham ran! When G-d asked Avraham to bring Isaac up on to the altar, when G-d commanded Avraham to listen to his wife and send away Hagar and Yishmael, when Abraham set up Shaharit prayer and prayed that G-d save Lot from the destruction of Sedom… Abraham set his alarm clock for 4 am! The words וַיַּשְׁכֵּ֨ם אַבְרָהָ֜ם בַּבֹּ֗קֶר, that Abraham got up early in the morning, are used in the instance of all three episodes!!
When Eliezer searches for a wife for Yitzhak and sees Rivka, he doesn’t approach her. He runs! וַיָּ֥רָץ הָעֶ֖בֶד לִקְרָאתָ֑הּ . When Rivka gives the camels to drink, she rushes and runsוַתְּמַהֵ֗ר וַתְּעַ֤ר כַּדָּהּ֙ אֶל־הַשֹּׁ֔קֶת וַתָּ֥רָץ ע֛וֹד, And, when she goes home to ask her parents if they can host Eliezer and his camels, she doesn’t walk… She runs! וַתָּ֙רָץ֙ הַֽנַּעֲרָ֔ וַתַּגֵּ֖ד לְבֵ֣ית אִמָּ֑הּ
One second. Doesn’t haste make waste? Isn’t it better to be calm? Do everything with a calm attitude? The answer is that each time Avraham, Eliezer, or Rivka ran, they had a seemingly valid excuse not to do anything at all. They ran, so that they wouldn’t give the excuse a chance to stop them from doing what they knew, deep down, that they were supposed to do. They knew, that in all life areas, urgency is the key to greatness. Because excuses come in the form of questions, answers, stories, news, statistics. Once you start with excuses, you can’t stop. The way to get past excuses is to classify the important as urgent. Avraham knew to wake up and start your day before the excuses wake up and start your day. I misread the clock, my sock had a hole in it, I can’t find my shoe, I ran out of toilet paper, the car could not start, the garage door did not open, … the excuses are endless. Excuses can get you fired when you have a boss, and if you are the boss, can put you out of business.
The secret to success in business, sales, time management, happiness, health, fitness, marriage, children, friendship, peace of mind is self-discipline. We all want all of these, but, first, we want a vacation. Someday, I will build my business to its potential. Someday, I will muster up the courage to make the sale. Someday, I will plan my life two weeks in advance. Someday, I will let go of everything that bothers me. Someday, I will eat well and exercise. Someday, I will respect, be loyal to, and value my spouse and children.
It’s a depressing fact of life that eventually, time expires; eventually, the hourglass’ sand runs out. This has been an issue since Adam HaRishon. G-d showed Adam each generation and its leaders. When they got to King David’s era, Adam saw that David did not have any years to live! All David had from Heaven was 3 hours! Adam heard that G-d was going to allow him one thousand years of life. So Adam asked G-d to give David 70 years. Adam wrote and signed a document, and G-d had angels sign it. The Shlah brings a Midrash, that when Adam reached his 930th birthday and saw that his end was near, he regretted giving 70 years to David, and he begged G-d to take back his years. G-d told Adam, Don’t do that! Keep your promise! Right away, Adam kept his word.
When do all the excuses stop? When a person musters enough courage to be honest with himself and admit, “this is my life”, and take responsibility for it. When a person realizes that this life is not a rehearsal for something else. When the person becomes aware that there are always a thousand valid excuses for failure, but never a good reason. When a person can be honest with himself and say, “It won’t help me anymore to blame my situation on someone else, on my mistakes, on my childhood. To criticize, complain, or make excuses. I need to accept total responsibility for my life, my future, and pray to G-d, begging Him for assistance.” Only then can one access the power of self-discipline.
Self-discipline means that today is the best day to start and rise above your excuses. Today is the best day to determine, in advance, the “price” that it costs to live the life of your dreams and pay that price in full, and in advance. The price could mean setting an alarm clock or acquiring a skill. It could mean reading a book, taking a seminar, getting a coach, facing your fear, doubt or insecurity. To become someone you have never been before, you need to do something that you have never done before. Always remember the rule of success in life: The elevator to success is out of order, but the stairs are always open.
Why do people come up with excuses, push off the important things, and not reach their goals, and ultimately not live the life of their dreams? It takes emotional intelligence to recognize the emotion behind the excuses and lack of motivation. 1. Fear of the unknown, fear of what you don’t understand, fear that you will never understand, fear of getting out of your comfort zone. 2. Fear of failure, fear that you won’t reach your expectation, fear of making a mistake. 3. Uncertainty, making assumptions or jumping to conclusions about possible outcomes that could negatively impact you. 4. No SMART goal. No Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Time-bound goal. 5. You believe that you can’t change, but in truth, you do not want to change. 6. You are protecting your identity and your version of your life story. 7. Fear that you lack the resources. 8. Looking around, comparing yourself to others. Being like others.
Be stronger than your excuses. Someone good at making excuses is usually not good at anything else.
Selfie steps to a no excuses mindset:
- Excuses are poison. Excuses are at the center point of almost all failure. If you fail, and blame others, you don’t have anything to change. If you blame yourself, it is not fun, it is not cool, but it is empowering, because you hold yourself accountable. If you blame others, it doesn’t hurt as much, it is not defeating, but it is paralyzing, makes you stagnant, and doesn’t get your anywhere. If you take away the excuse, if you own your failure, then you take away the paralysis of the mistake.
- The definition of greatness is rising above your expectations of yourself, and rising above your excuses. It is your choice to either look at difficult circumstances as excuses or as inspiration.
- The definition of an excuse is the rationalization of a mistake. If you did not make a mistake, there is no purpose for the excuse. Admit your mistakes, own your mistakes, so that you can make sure you do not that mistake again.
