TAZRIAH – METZORAH
HUMBLING THE HUMBLE
When I was coaching a boy on improving memory skills, he asked me if I could help him to remember not to get angry in situations which provoked such a reaction. I responded that when he got angry, he did not forget that doing so was against his values. When he got angry, he did remember, either consciously or subconsciously, that he was doing something wrong. Anger is an emotion that comes as a response when one feels that his/her ego has been violated or damaged; it is an overflow of negative expression. This emotion will cause a person to exhibit incontrollable behavior, ignoring his true principles and disapproval of getting angry. Anger, like any other emotion, is triggered by a thought, even a subconscious one. This “automatic” thought, (i.e., not necessarily consciously validated) despite its irrationality, will often surface when the ego is challenged. The surfacing of automatic thoughts is a kind of reflex, generated by some underlying core belief. If we challenge the core belief, these thoughts will be more rational. This is what is meant in the Iggeret Haramban that the strategy for avoiding anger is always to speak calmly to whomever we meet. There is no effective strategy for stopping anger once one has already entered such an emotional state and is, by definition, out of control. The only effective way to deal with anger and correct it is by preventing its onset through altering our core beliefs about our expectations from the world around us. When training ourselves to speak in a low tone of voice, we are stabilizing our ego as well as expressing our recognition that I am not greater than my surroundings. Then, the ego is generally balanced enough that it is not so vulnerable to the stepped-on feeling. When the All-Important-I thoughts are not present, we can stay within our anti-anger boundaries. Memory, however, is neither the issue nor the solution.
This method is valid in dealing with gossip and slander, as well. We all remember that this talk is forbidden. However, in certain situations, where an automatic negative thought arises against another person, we do indulge in this kind of talk. This thought triggers an emotion that overcomes us, and we cannot keep the thought to ourselves. The way that we can control our emotions is by controlling our core beliefs – those which generate the automatic thoughts. We control our core beliefs by recognizing them and questioning them. And, the Torah tells us exactly what core beliefs cause a person to speak gossip or slander.
Our parsha discusses the slanderer, who has become a metzorah, a leper. After his repentance, he had to go through a purification procedure involving a Kohen who took from the leper two kosher birds, a piece of cedar wood, a string of red wool and an ezob ( hyssop) grass. One bird was to be slaughtered over a cup of water, and the other live bird, together with the cedar and wool string, would be dipped into the cup of blood and water and sprinkled on the Metzora.
Our rabbis tell us the meaning behind the components of the ritual. The birds were to remind the slanderer that he had done a birdlike act of nonstop ‘chirping’. The piece of wood was there to remind him that the cedar, being the tallest tree, represents the core belief of arrogance in the person who is speaking gossip or slander. This is a primary cause of all gossip. The reason for involvement of the Ezob, or hyssop, is that it is the lowest of all trees. Rashi writes here that the lesson is to tell the Metzorah that in order for him to be cured of his unacceptable behavior, first he had to come down from his arrogance and self pride, resembling the lowly Ezob and Tolaat (worm).
The Avnei Nezer presents a question: The Metzorah, at this stage of purification, had already repented and was currently looking at himself in a more humble manner. How, then, could the Torah tell him that he had to lower his self image in order to be cured? Wasn’t he already humbled?
The Avnei Nezer answers that the humbling feeling that the Metzorah feels may not be a level of absolute humbleness – it might be only temporary and external. If it results from pain or suffering that befalls him in life, this humility may disappear along with the pain and suffering when they go away. In G-d’s Mercy, this level of humbling is accepted as repentance. However, a lasting humility is not achieved until one arrives at the recognition of the Greatness of G-d and the minuteness ofMan.This humbling feeling is a far greater one, as it is not dependent on circumstance. It will remain even after the pain subsides. This deeper humbleness will help the leper not to speak forbidden talk in the future, even after he passes this degrading stage of impurity and isolation. So says the Avnei Nezer.
The difference between theses two types of humbling is that one is transient, while the other is lasting. Being humbled through pain and suffering is not related to how one looks at his surroundings and at other human beings. In contrast, when one looks at himself as being minute before G-d, he realizes that all human beings are minute before G-d. We are all only human, and humans make mistakes. At his utmost core belief, the slanderer can realize that although he feels flawless in comparison to his fellow, when he compares himself to G-d, he sees that he is filled with flaws, no less than his friend. When one works on this type of humbling, he may find it easier for himself to overcome his “habit” of speaking in a way that he himself disapproves of.
Shabbat Shalom, Yosef Farhi
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