Shemot 2013 english

WHAT, THEN HOW

Do you know what is the most important thing that G-d gave you, possibly your greatest resource for success? It is something that can get you out of most of life’s problems, something that can bring you the success that you are looking for in life, something that is probably the most fascinating thing in the creation. Do you know what it is?  It is the ability to think. We sometimes forget to thank G-d for giving us this capability, for it is difficult to remember to be appreciative for something that is invisible. It can only be noticed when someone says something smart or does something smart. In the introductory chapter to Hovot Halevovot, Rabbeinu Bachye writes that the first thing a human being should be thankful to the Almighty for is the ability to think. This is why our opening thanks to G-d in the Amidah, as well as the first thing we pray for is – אתה חונן לאדם דעת  , You grant man wisdom… וחננו מאתך חכמה בינה ודעת And grant us from You, wisdom, understanding and knowledge…

People get stuck in life, many times, not because they are not thinking, but because they are not thinking effectively. People blame G-d for their lack of success. The thought that  “G-d has favorites, and I am not one of them”,  is probably one of the most destructive thoughts a person can have. There is nothing farther from the truth. One has no choice in the Past and Future, but in the Now, G-d gives you the opportunity to make decisions. G-d gives people free choice, and waits for Hishtadlut. And the most important part of hishtadlut is thinking effectively. G-d, Who runs the Universe in accordance with rules called “nature”, allows people to becomes successful if they take a certain route, the one that will make people naturally successful.  If a person has never tried the route of the successful, he will never know what G-d had cut out for him in life.

Studies prove that successful people have a certain way of thinking. Once I realized this, I dedicated a big part of my life to studying the thinking patterns of people successful in being happy, in achieving speed reading, in engaging in public speaking, in stopping smoking , losing weight and building healthy, long-lasting, real relationships. I always ask the question, What is their secret recipe to success?  I studied how people generate creativity, and never stopped being fascinated by this field. I always believed that if a person knew how the successful think, there would be a greater chance that G-d would allow him to be successful. I have helped a lot of people live better lives, just by showing them new ways to think or generate effective thinking. I will soon give you just one of these tools. It may change your life.

The way to get anyone, including yourself, to think is by asking a question. Any effective question will do. If you need a way to generate questions, just use the tool of the Boaz in his introduction to Mishnayot Kodshim.  Ask any question connected to the six words, Who/ What /When/ Where/ Why and How. Five “Wh”s and one “Hw”. Now, the majority of successful people in life think in the following manner. They first ask the “What” question. What do I want? What does G-d want? What does my family want? What do my customers want? What do my students want? What do I consider successful? What do the successful people in this area do, think, believe, feel etc…  They jot down on a piece of paper, or in their mind, ten things that they want. They first ask and figure out in the greatest detail the answer to the what question, AND DO NOT ASK THE “HOW” ‘TIL THEY HAVE FIGURED OUT ALL THE “WHAT”S.  They will leave that for step two. The mind may come up with “how” on its own, only later. Only after focusing on exactly what you want, can your mind come up with the answer to “how”. G-d does this for you. Many times, G-d will perform miracles and help the person to figure out the how. (I never thought how I would come up with so many thinkingaboutme.org articles. I just wrote out a plan of what exactly I wanted and started writing. The ability to come up with a new idea every week is, clearly, a miracle.) This is one of the places in the world where we can see G-d in His Creation. All you need to do is know, to the best of your capabilities, the answer to “What”.

Batya, Pharaoh’s princess, was strolling down the bank of the Nile River, with a group of her attendants. She was going to the mikveh for conversion.(Rashi Sota 12) Imagine that! Hitler’s daughter going to convert to Judaism! How was she going to do it?!? She saw little Moshe in the Nile, and she had mercy on him. She wanted to save him, but her maids warned her that this would be going against her father, Pharaoh’s decree to kill all Jewish baby boys. At the time, Pharaoh was, by far, the most powerful man on earth. How was she going to do it?!? Moshe, floating in his little casket, started to cry, arousing Batya’s mercy and compassion. The baby was too far for her to reach, at a distance of “many Amot”.  She stretched out her hand, and her arm extended, miraculously.  What was she thinking? She knew how far she could reach, and that, under the circumstances, there was no way she could reach it! How was she going to do it?!?

The Chafetz Chaim answers that when it comes to saving someone else, a person needs to do whatever is in his power, not worrying “how” he can do what seems out of reach. G-d will make a miracle, and the rest will happen “somehow”. Miracles happen in such a way; they compensate for what a person could not do on his/her own. The same is true for one to help himself in life. Our job in life is somehow to figure out what we want, what G-d wants, what our loved ones want. We are not to let the “How” get in the way. Then, we try  to do whatever is in our reach. Many people I know who succeeded in various areas of life did not know how things were going to turn out. They just knew what they wanted and did what they could to point themselves in the right direction. Somehow, (through G-d) things worked themselves out. Because G-d makes miracles in such a way.

Miriam, Moshe’s older sister, was a prophetess at the age five. She was already saving the Jewish newborns with her mother. She prophesied that her mother would give birth to the redeemer of Bnei Yisrael. And when Moshe was born, he was born circumcised, and the house shone with the light of the Shechina. Amram kissed his daughter, Miriam, praising her for her correct prophecy that her mother, Yocheved, would give birth to the redeemer of the Jews. But on the day when Yocheved had to throw Moshe into the Nile, Amram hit Miriam on the head, asking “Where is your prophecy now?”. But Miriam knew that her younger brother was going to save the people. She knew what was going to happen, she just did not know how. She was curious to see how things were going to turn out (G-d). So, she went to the river to observe.( And she learnt, that G-d has the most ironic ways for bringing about the “How”. G-d made it, that the same Pharaoh who killed so many Jewish baby boys and Egyptian baby boys, with the intention of killing the redeemer of the Jews, that same Pharaoh will be the one to bring up the redeemer of the Jews in his own house!) The Jewish women in Egypt had this trait as well. They believed in the Redemption, despite all the seeming impossibilities. And, in this merit, we were redeemed.

Many people get stuck on the how before they know the what. They think ahead of the game. They want it all to work out before it even starts. This is not the way of most successful people. You need G-d to become successful. You need Him to help you figure out the “How” for you.

And one last point about “What”s. One of the reasons why people cannot achieve success is because people do not know what they want, or they cannot judge which “want” is the most important between conflicting issues. The Shem Mishmuel on parashat Vayeshev writes that this is the להט המתהפכת  that holds people back from getting to the Eitz Hachaim, to Yishuv hada’at. להט  has another definition aside from sword. It also can be referring to the emotion when someone has a great desire, all intent about something. Having strong, unclear desires  is what keeps one from getting to the עץ חיים. When the wants contradict, when they are wishy-washy, or מתהפכת, a person loses all serenity and ability for creativity.

PRAYING HYSTERICALLY