english – shemot 2012
“WANNABES”
When R’ Chaim Shmulevitz was eulogizing the Brisker Rav, he just cried as he was unable to speak, choked for words. He said that telling the stories of a person’s deeds is the way that people usually give an idea of who that person was. But when we’re talking about the Rav, stories of his actions would not suffice to express his greatness. R’ Chaim explained this as follows:
Our rabbis tell us of the great reward that Miriam received in the desert when she was a leper. The entire Jewish Nation waited for her for seven days, until she became pure. This was the honor accorded her for an act that she did, as we are told in our parasha, when she was only a little girl, about six years old. She waited, for just a couple of hours, to see what would happen to her baby brother Moshe after she placed him in a floating basket in the Nile. A small act that many people might have done. We see that Avraham Avinu was rewarded with amazing miracles for his descendants, because of the way he invited and hosted guests. Since then, a lot of people have invited in guests, and a lot of people have cared and waited to see what would happen to their younger siblings when they were kids. So, why were Avraham and Miriam so richly rewarded for actions that other people do and for which they see no reward?
The answer is that it was not only the action that was done. It was the type of person who did that action. The act of kindness of an Avraham and the act of caring of a Miriam were different from similar actions done by other people. Not because the quantity. And not because the quality. But because the person who did it. One cannot get a picture of the Brisker Rav by hearing the stories about him. By his actions. Because the actions do not describe the Rav. The Rav describes his actions.
I have difficulty in explaining this concept, even though I do not think it is hard to understand. If, for example, someone would try to imitate the Brisker Rav’s actions, it would be just humorous, because what he did was special because of the way the Rav felt about life. An external act, without the matching intent, without being on the same level of character as the person whom one is copying, is just making a fool out of oneself – something like being a monkey.
The same action can be done by two different people. Significance and meaning of an act is, to a great extent, determined by who the person is who is doing it. When we see a picture of R Elyashiv lighting a Chanuka Menorah, we say wow, that’s R’ Elyashiv lighting the Menorah. When we see an old man with a beard and Meah Shearim garb lighting the menorah, we do not say, wow, that was an old man with a beard and Meah Shearim garb lighting a menorah. What is the difference? The difference is in the person doing the action. If a friend bumps into you, or someone with whom you are not on particularly good terms bumps into you, you could be totally forgiving in the first case, and quite annoyed in the second.
Now you might ask, what can I do with this piece of information? The person can decide what he wants to be, and then what he does will take on a new light. If a person decides that he wants to be a person in whose eyes the ultimate goal of his life is not money, fame, happiness, raising a family etc., but rather to sanctify G-d’s Name, then when I see this fellow going to work, I see an Eved Hashem going to work. When I see him bringing his child to school, I see the King’s servant bringing his child to school. The person describes the action. Let us take this a step further.
There are three wants that a person has going through his head, whether he is conscious of them or not. What do I want to be? What do I want to have? What do I want to do? – A person can think that what he does, i.e., his livelihood, is what he is. He is a barber. A lawyer. A doctor. But this is not the real truth. A person can decide who we wants to be – a nice person , a calm person, an accepting person, a worshipper of G-d… Once someone makes this decision, that is what he is. It is one of the most amazing aspects of the subconscious mind – The subconscious mind does not know the difference between pretending and reality. If, for example, a person pretends that he is a happy person, changing his facial and body muscles and their expressions to that of a happy person, he will be happy, as long as he pretends. (Usually, that happens until the unhappy thoughts come back; then, he forgets to pretend to be happy and express a happy physiognomy. And then he is unhappy again.)
Just for curiosity’s sake, what would happen if for a day , an entire day, you would pretend to be a person for whom the only success in life is to serve G-d and sanctify his Name? You would then be, maybe just for a day, a true servant of G-d. And then everything you do will take on an entirely different meaning.
PRAYING HYSTERICALLY
The Talmud in Berachot (24b) states: someone who raises his voice in prayer is from those who lack faith in G-d. The simple explanation is according to Rashi. Why does the worshipper have to raise his voice if G-d is found all over? Doesn’t G-d hear us even when we whisper? By this worshipper screaming his prayer, it is as if he does not believe that G-d’s Presence is everywhere, and he doubts G-d’s ability to hear even the slightest of sounds.
The Kotzker asks a question that most people would not ask. What is so bad if this person “invented” for himself a way to arouse his emotions in prayer, by raising his voice in order to awaken his focus? Why is he considered, for doing such a thing, מקטני האמונה , from those who lack faith in G-d?
The Kotsker answers, that this method to “get into it” is wrong. Why did he only try to get into the focusing now, when he was in middle of prayer? A person should get himself into the “mode of prayer” before prayer! And for this, for coming into prayers not in focus, a person shows that he does not really believe that his prayer is going to “make it or break it.” If he did, the approach would be an entirely different one. One should even make a prayer, before prayer, that he have proper concentration while praying. This is what is meant when it says,(Berachot 30b) חסידים הראשונים היו שוהין שעה א’ ומתפללים כדי שיכוונו לבם לאביהם שבשמים The original pious men would wait one hour before praying, so that their prayers would be focused to their Father in Heaven. The Kotzker points out that it should have said שוהין שעה א’ ואחר כך מתפללים they would wait one hour and then pray. From this we can understand that in the” hour wait” before prayer, they would offer supplication, asking to have concentration in their prayers.
In this week’s parasha, we find different terminologies for the prayers of the Jewish Nation in Egypt, when they were at the peak of their suffering. ויהי בימים הרבים ההם וימת מלך מצרים ויאנחו בני ישראל מן העבדה ויזעקו ותעל שועתם אל האלקים מן העבדה. (ב’ כג’) … ויאמר ה’ ראה ראיתי את עני עמי אשר במצרים ואת צעקתם שמעתי…(ג’ ,ז’) And it was, in those many days, and the king of Egypt died, and the Jews groaned from the slavery, and they cried out, and their cries went up to G-d from their slavery… And G-d said, I saw the neediness of my nation in Egypt , and I heard their cries (shouts)…
The Zohar states that this type of prayer, זעקה, crying out , is a prayer that does not get turned away empty handed. R’ Shimshon Pincus describes this זעקה, this type of prayer. It is a hysterical prayer. When a person is hysterical about what he needs, when he calls out to G-d from genuine hysteria, that is the most powerful prayer. The reason why this prayer is calledזעקה is because it is a prayer out of pain , and a realization that screaming out to G-d is the only option. And , R’ Shimshon Pincus would say that the only reason we don’t pray a “hysterical prayer” is because we do not realize what is at stake in what we are praying for. If we would come to prayers with the understanding that it is not only for the actual “bread and water” that we pray that we should have, but we are actually praying that we not suffer the “state of mind of the poor people”- When we pray for peace, if only we would think about the big fights that go on in some families, the worst wars that could be, we would be hysterical, for we would realize what is at stake- When we pray for children to grow up in the path of the Torah- we are praying for our only future –were we to realize the import of our requests, our prayers would be a lot different. They would be more pure. They would be from the deepest parts of our souls. And they would be answered.
Someone who enters to visit a sick man on Shabbat should sayשבת היא מלזעוק ורפואה קרובה לבוא . (Shabbat 12b) It is Shabbat(we are to refrain) from “crying out”, and the cure is close by. There is a saying from the Kotsker that when someone has something to cry out for, and he wants to cry out but cannot, this is the greatest cry of all. And this is why refraining to “cry out” on Shabbat is so great, and the cure is close by. Because “crying out” is not necessarily how much noise you make. Crying out is the deepest emotions and feelings of the soul expressing themselves in tears. If only we would pray like that…
MEMOIRS OF GRATITUDE
Moshe was reluctant to take the position of leading the Jews out of Egypt. He justified his reticence to G-d by saying: I am not a man of words … for I have a heavy mouth (my speech is halting) and a heavy tongue (the words I speak are not clear). Moshe was referring to the lisp that he had from having burned his tongue as a child. The Midrash (Rabba 1, 26) writes How did Moshe develop a lisp? Paraoh’s daughter (Batya who drew Moshe out of the water and adopted him) would kiss and hug little Moshe as if he were her son, and she would not let him leave Paraoh’s palace. And because he was good looking, everyone wanted to see him. Whoever saw him would not leave him alone. Paraoh, also, would hug and kiss him. Little Moshe took the crown off of Paraoh’s head and put it on his own. The magicians of Egypt said that they feared that this child would overthrow Paraoh one day and take the throne. Some said, kill him. Others said, burn him. Yithro, at that time an advisor to Paraoh, was present, and interrupted this train of thought. “This child is too young to have wit. We can test him by bringing a bowl of gold and another, of coals. If he reaches out for the gold-it is a sign that he has wit, and we shall kill him. And if he sends his hand toward the coals, it will show that he has no wit, and he should not be killed. They followed Yithro’s advice, and Moshe stretched out his hand for the gold. The angel Gavriel came and pushed Moshe’s hand away from the gold, guiding it toward the coals. Moshe put the coal into his mouth, burning his tongue and causing permanent damage. From this incident, Moshe had a “heavy tongue” and a “heavy mouth”.
G-d denied Moshe’s refusal to be a leader…Who gave man a mouth, and who makes one deaf and dumb? Is it not I, G-d ? And now, go, and I will be with your mouth… There is a question here that we must ask ourselves. Why did Moshe not ask G-d to cure his lisp instead of denying G-d’s request? Was it not self-evident that this is what G-d would answer Moshe?
The answer here reveals an important aspect of Moshe’s personality. Moshe wanted a constant reminder of the miracle G-d had performed for him when he was but a child. He did not want ever to forget his burnt tongue and the appreciation he had to G-d for sending the angel Gavriel to save his life. If G-d would cure Moshe’s tongue, then his gratefulness to G-d for the miracle of his youth could conceivably be forgotten at times.
Moshe feared man’s natural tendency toward ingratitude: the human psyche tends to forget kindness bestowed upon it by others. One can be easily persuaded to forget, for forgetting takes away the responsibility to respond with appreciation. Moshe was aware of this human shortcoming and wanted to have a constant reminder that he could never ignore. This was so important to Moshe that although he knew that if he did not take the Jews out of Egypt then no one else would, he could not bring himself to pray to G-d to cure his tongue, a request which would ultimately cause him to forget the miracle.
How many people would react as Moshe did? If such an incident were to happen to them, instead of recognizing it as a miracle, most people would spend their whole life blaming G-d for having given them the burn and lisp. They would prefer to find something to be upset about, and someone to blame. All this bitterness is just in order to free one’s self of responsibility.
I once attended a class in which the rabbi mentioned how he had convinced a woman not to make an abortion. The women cried and said that she did not want to bring a child into a world where there is no love. I gave this much thought. Is there no love in this world? I do not think that she was right. Our rabbis and mentors love us. They dedicate their lives to teaching us. Our parents and spouses love us. We quickly forget the thought and effort that goes into preparing meals and doing household chores. Subconsciously, we’d rather forget to show appreciation for these things, as it frees us from the responsibility of acknowledging being beholden to others. Perhaps, if we look more deeply into this very human trait, we will find that in giving thanks to another person, we are recognizing the fact that we are not totally in control: “thanks” means that we were in the position of receiving something from another person.
Once, someone pointed out something quite ironic to me. Our parents made us birthday parties in our earlier stages of life. This was to give us a feeling that we were appreciated, and that we were noticed. One might then assume that as the “birthday boy” grows, he should make a birthday party on his birthday for his own parents, out of gratitude for having brought him into the world, having diapered him, fed him, stayed up with him at nights etc. etc. But no one makes such a birthday party.
We must never forget to be grateful. Even if one has no other human in the world that loves him, G-d loves him. The human psyche likes to forget all the good things G-d has done for us from the minute we were born. This is an unusual phenomenon. People are surrounded by so much love – but they would rather ignore it. We would rather believe that we are alone, and that no one cares for us. All this just in order to avoid feeling responsible for acknowledging our gratefulness and appreciation…
