THE ART OF FIXING WHAT CAN’T BE FIXED
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THE ART OF FIXING WHAT CAN’T BE FIXED
One of my favorite-of-all-times songs is the song of Mordechai ben David: אם אדם מאמין שאפשר לקלקל ודאי שאפשר לתקן – רק בשמחה אפשר לתקן. If a person believes that it is possible to ruin things… for sure he has to believe it is possible to fix things! )Likutei Maharan T. 112) רק בשמחה אפשר לתקן Only with happiness a person can fix! We have to strengthen our Emunah when we feel like we are falling apart; we must believe that things can get better, that we can be better. To believe that everything is good. That Hashem loves us so much… When things are going wrong, even when the whole world feels like it is messed up, כל העולם אפשר לתקן, everything can be fixed. As long as we can find some way to be happy, when we try to improve our circumstance. The purpose of all pain and suffering, all stressors and frustrations is just to help us improve ourselves. Even Gehinom is just to fix the soul.
The problem exists when our perception of G-d is incorrect; we mistakenly feel that G-d punishes, because He wants to get back at us. That is never the case… This is why, last week, something I mentioned in my article turned off one of my students. Our Rabbis tell us that when the people in the Desert cried on the night of Tisha B’av, believing the spies that G-d was not strong enough to take the Canaanites out of the Land, the punishment was severe. 15,000 people died each year in the desert for forty years. And every year, on the night of Tisha B’av, we need to cry over the destruction of the two Temples, that were destroyed on the night of tears.
“Isn’t that a very severe punishment by G-d, that just because they cried when they were afraid, they were all killed out? And that we, until today, need to still cry every year on Tisha B’av? Even if we could explain that Gehinom is good, because it cleanses the soul, how could this make sense, that so many people die, and that we still today have to cry, because of a scared people in the Desert?”
This question is a legitimate question.
When we think about Korah, a man who made a mistake – and look what type of punishment he had to go through! He thought he was right! He never did another sin in his whole life, and he is punished to be in Gehinom, forever???
These questions are really tough questions.
G-d is good, 100% good, to everyone, at all times. Still, being Good does not mean that there is no factor of Justice. G-d held the people of the generation of the desert accountable to have faith in Him on their level, after all they had experienced: The ten plagues. The splitting of the Sea. The giving of the Torah at Har Sinai. And they still did not believe in Him that He could win the wars against the Canaanites?
Our tears of mourning on Tisha B’Av, over the lack of the Temple, over the lack of Mashiach, over the lack of having an independent land of Eretz Yisrael that is run and ruled by Malchut Bet David and Sanhedrin, is what fixes the tears caused by the Spies. We have the merit of fixing their sins. We can fix their tears by trusting in G-d enough from all the good things He’s done, that even when we don’t see the good, we can really say “Gam zu l’tovah”, and de-stress a little. When we exaggerate our fears and our stressors, we are doing something that has roots in the sin of the Spies, of the founding fathers of our people. When we have faith, even in hard times, and when we don’t get overstressed over difficult, challenging situations, we fix the sin of our ancestors.
When Korah sinned, he needed to be punished on his level. In the times of Mashiach, he will get rewarded for all his good, as the letters of his name are found in the last letters of the words צַ֭דִּיק כַּתָּמָ֣ר יִפְרָ֑ח, the Tzaddik will blossom and rise (in the future) like the palm tree. Korah and his followers, who believe that we are all holy like Moshe Rabbeinu, will rise again in the End of Days. עתיד הקדוש ברוך הוא לעשות מחול לצדיקים, והוא יושב ביניהם בגן עדן, In the End of Days, HKBH will make a circle for Tzaddikim, and He will sit in the middle of them, in Gan Eden. Just like every part of the circle is equidistant from the center, all the Tzaddikim will be equally close to G-d, each one according to his Tafkid, his purpose. Everything, even Korah and his followers can be fixed. It all depends on how much patience you have, and how persistent you are.
The other day I did handwriting analysis on one of my clients. The client asked why I was telling them of all their shortcomings. It is so discouraging!
My Rabbi did not let me learn psychology; he only allowed me to learn coaching. Psychology can sometimes confuse you into thinking that you are limited and confined to your past, and that the animalistic part of your brain is the only psyche you have, forgetting that you have a soul that is G-dly and infinite. The Torah view is that although your past has a major impact on your future, still, we are all created in the Image of G-d, and we can re-create ourselves if we work hard enough, something that is more in line with coaching. Every shortcoming can be fixed. Every trauma can turn into a strength. This is a question of faith. Handwriting analysis is just a mirror of your subconscious. A mirror is not good or bad. It is just you. And you need to work from where you are now, from who you are in the mirror.
It is not that when I write these articles I am preaching, and when I write about fighting stress, I don’t, myself, overstress. Unfortunately, I am more prone to feeling stressed in difficult situations than average people. These articles that I write are my mirror. I called my parasha articles ”Thinkingaboutme” for a reason. What I write is what I am working on, myself.
Korach could not accept the fact, that for him, accepting his status would be growth! A higher status was not an option, but he could not come to terms with that. If we can’t grow, in a particular way no matter how much we try, G-d has reason for that, and then true growth means accepting that this is G-d’s Will. G-d has reasons for us to be who we are and to serve Him from where we are. We have no idea which sins of our ancestors we are fixing, by standing strong in what we are going through.
Even the name you were given impacts your destiny, and your job in life is to deal with, and make the most of, the destiny you were born to. The Hatam Sofer writes that Korah fell because he was named the same name as a Rasha, one of the sons of Esav.וַתֵּ֣לֶד לְעֵשָׂ֔ו אֶת יְע֥וּשׁ וְאֶת־יַעְלָ֖ם וְאֶת־קֹֽרַח: Shaul Hamelech also sinned, because he was given the name of a Rasha, שָׁא֖וּל מֵרְחֹב֥וֹת הַנָּהָֽר (Bereshit 36;37) Hatam Sofer even asks about the daughter of Mattityahu Kohen Gadol, who was called Yehudit, and Esav’s wife was also called Yehudit, Yehudit Bat Be’eri, a woman who would burn incense for Avodah Zarah in the house of Yitzhak and made Yitzhak blind! The Hatam Sofer answers that the real name of Esav’s wife was Aholibama, and Esav called her Yehudit, to trick his father, but the name Yehudit is a Jewish name. Still and all, Yehudit, the daughter of Mattityahu the Kohen Gadol, got the power to take the sword of Eliforni and cut off his head, from the very fact that her name Yehudit was a nickname of Esav’s wife!!!! The names we have, have an impact on us and our soul- mission, and it is what we have to work with and make the most of.
Every improvement in life feels impossible until its done. There is an opportunity in every difficulty, and sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are one and the same. When everyone says, “Give up” – try it one more time. It does not matter how slowly you improve; just don’t stop! When G-d brings salvation, it does not come in one shot. It sprouts. G-d is מצמיח ישועה , He sprouts salvation.
