ekev 2013

LESSON FROM THE SUPERMARKET

No consumer support study recommends to “shop on a full stomach”, after overeating; rather, they recommend to refrain from shopping when going on empty. Why? Have you ever shopped on a full stomach? You might have been skimpy in what you put in your shopping cart, and might not have bought some of the things that you needed to have in your house. Just looking at the items in the store was probably difficult. You probably just walked up to the shelves where you knew the things that you absolutely positively needed were, and bought those items alone. Why? Because a stuffed stomach says to the mind, “You do not need anything”.

It is strange how much the physical state affects state of mind, and influences our decision making in both big and small matters. We need to be “warned” about our vulnerability  by consumer saving studies. Food is not the only physical, external thing that can affect the state of mind without our realizing it. The state of mind can be affected by any of the following list of external changes or conditions, and more: Lack of or excess food , too much or too little sleep, room temperature, too hot or too cold, too much or too little light, being in shape or out of shape. I take all this into account when coaching yeshiva students, helping them in their learning and focusing. These variables can make it or break it when it comes to focusing in our studies. We might not even be aware that we are not focused, because these things subtly affect the subconscious.

In this week’s parasha,  the Torah describes this concept very clearly, but on another level. Not about saving money. Not about focusing or decision making. But about becoming haughty and forgetting G-d. ואכלת ושבעת וברכת את ה’ אלקיך  In this passuk, we are not only commanded to recite the grace after meals, but also reminded that we should not forget G-d when we are satiated. In the following pesukim,  the Torah warns us that, in such a physical state, we may become haughty and forget G-d. Why would we forget G-d just because we are full? Elsewhere, the Torah tells us וישמן ישורון ויבעט  and Yeshurun (the Jewish Nation) became fat and he kicked… The Midrash tells us that many of the severest sins of our Nation,  our greatest downfalls, occurred immediately after a meal. Why?   Because the way the human body is programmed is that when a person eats to excess, or when he is just full, the mind does not think the same. It somehow ignores and forgets that it was once hungry and once, somewhat humble. That it once needed sustenance, but now, after dessert , the body tells the mind “don’t need G-d no more” ((חס ושלום.

The following question was asked by the Ben Ish Chai. We know that there are two blessings that we are commanded to make from the Torah. The rest are from our Rabbis. The two are ברכת המזון  and ברכות התורה. Why is it that we make a blessing  for Torah study in the morning before we learn, and not after  we finish learning? Why is it not like Birkat Hamazon, the blessing which we make after having eaten, and not before? The answer he gives is a classic. Learning Torah does not have a point of “satiation”. Therefore, we can make the blessing only before learning. Instituting blessing after meals is to insure that we be aware of the amount we are supposed to eat before we begin the meal. Imagine what it would be like if, before eating, we would plan how much food we really need for healthy nutrition, and then stick to that. We would be healthier, more fit, happier, better at focusing, humbler, more positive, more “ready to go”-  by taking only what we need…

…all because we were aware of the effect the physical state has on the state of mind.

HIGH HEELS

R’ Ben Tzion Mutsafi expounds on this. In the army, a soldier is obliged to have his face cleanly shaved, shirt tucked in, boots tied, and hair cut short.  Paying attention to these little things, the things that people take for granted, is often the criterion being judged as obedient. These seemingly minute details put one into a state of mind and make one subconsciously acknowledge the authority of whoever demands them. And, our state of mind determines the quality and fervor of how we do things.

Coming to shul early enough to say what we need to say, without catching up. Not speaking in shul. Praying from the siddur. These things, although they seem to have only secondary importance, things that are not as great as the Amidah itself or as great as the Kriat Shema, will make the whole difference in the quality of our Amidah and Kriat Shema . ….The things that we step on: the open cell phone during prayers… The way we dress when we come to shul.

This is true in regard to the Mitzvah of Shabbat. ממצוא חפציך ודבר דבר  – in the words we say before Kiddush Shabbat day, we mention the law of the Prophets that we refrain from “speaking speech that refers to things that are forbidden on Shabbat.”  This law, says R’ Mutsafi, is a law that many “step on with their heel.” The more careful we are in keeping this law, the more seriousness we will relate to our adherence to the 39 Melachot that are forbidden from the Torah as well .

The Midrash Hagadol focuses on the words ושמרתם ועשיתם  : the words that mean, literally, to keep and observe. The word שמור  refers to the Mitzvot. Keeping, or watching means preparing yourself for and awaiting the opportunity to do the mitzvah. Be ready for it before it comes, and when it comes, do it in the most beautiful and praiseworthy way possible.  Accept and welcome the Shabbat early. Be among the first in shul awaiting a minyan. Although in the world we know, a worker will not receive any special payment from his boss for coming early and waiting for his job to begin, this is not true in regard to our reward for Mitzvot.  We are rewarded for being ready ahead of time. This behavior can be observed in old-timers.  We tend to think that they are ready early to perform a mitzvah because they do not have that many things to do. The truth is that this was how things were in the last generation. Coming to shul early, awaiting prayers was a value that was widespread, understood and respected.

If we look closely at the prayer that is cited at a Siyum of a tractate in Shas, we will notice an interesting statement : אנו רצים והם רצים…   We run and they run. . .   When it comes to getting paid as a worker, the boss does not care if you came by foot and it took you a couple of hours, just be there on time!  With doing a mitzvah it is not that way. The effort put in in order to get you to the Mitzvah is reckoned in with precision:  How far is shul from your house?  One gets rewarded for every step he takes along the way.  Let us remember that the “heel “, is what might make the whole difference of what type of World we have waiting for us.

DISCIPLINING – PARENTING OR PERSONAL

In this week’s parashah ( Devarim 8:8 ), the Torah says: Know in your heart that Hashem, your G-d, punishes you as a man punishes his son  (וידעת עם לבבך כי כאשר ייסר איש את בנו ה’ אלקיך מיסרך). TheBen Ish Chai asks: Would it not be more appropriate to speak of a father punishing his son rather than a man punishing his son?

He answers with this remarkable insight. Although a parent usually loves his child more than anyone else does, the parent does not, unfortunately, always have the good of the child in mind. A father, for example, may be motivated by embarrassment over having a child who did this or that inappropriate thing. In contrast, when an adoptive father needs to rebuke his child that he adopted out of love, he probably does so solely out of concern for the child’s good. He does not take the misbehavior to heart as a real father does.

And this is the way G-d rebukes and punishes us when we deserve it. He never punishes us out of “self-interest,” so to speak. He disciplines us in order to better us. This is what the Torah means when it speaks of a man punishing his son rather than a father punishing his son.

Before a parent punishes his child, he must ask himself this question. “Am I bothered by the damage to my image or by the fact that my child may not grow up to be a good person if he gets used to acting this way?” If parents would always ask themselves this question before reacting to their child’s misbehavior, they would be better parents and would raise better children.   

FEARFUL FOR A LIVING

Fearing G-d has many levels. The Ben Ish Chai conveys the following idea of one of the highest levels, indicating how far the rational fear of G-d can elevate one, directly influencing one’s behavior and imbuing within a person an extremely high degree of the emotion of fear. He starts by drawing on the following observation.

We call the fear of G-d in Hebrew יראת שמים – literally the fear of Heaven. Isn’t Heaven the place where G-d dwells? Would it not be then more precise to describe fear of Him as יראת השם – the fear of His name?

The answer the Ben Ish Chai gives is that the word שמים Heaven, according to one explanation, is a combination of the words אש ומים – fire and water. Our Rabbis explain that Heaven was created with fire and water – usually two extreme opponents. Normally, when combined, fire evaporates water and water extinguishes fire. Nonetheless, out of fear of their Creator, these two elements bond, defy their inherent nature, and resist their opposing laws of existence in order to coexist and fulfill G-d’s will. The Ben Ish Chai expounds that this is the very reason why we refer to “fear of G-d” as “fear of Heaven”. It is not only describing the object of the fear per se but rather a degree of fear. The fear emotion on this degree is so strong and real that all values, instincts and interests melt in its presence. This, of course, is close to an ultimate degree of fear that is not easily attainable.

Many interpret “G-d fearing” as referring to a person who will act no less righteously alone than when in front of others. This is also a very difficult level of Fear of G-d to attain.  One may perceive another’s efforts to be in a position where he is not alone as often as possible, saving himself from being tempted to sin, as a level of fearing G-d that is praiseworthy. This is definitely a more attainable level of Fear of G-d. The responsibility each Jew is given is to always look for the next level where fear of G-d can be intensified as a new goal and strive for it.

                                                           Shabbat Shalom, Yosef Farhi